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Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Aw man...today was both sucky AND fine. Sounds weird, I know, but don't ask me why. Things just happen the way they do. -.-
Sewing tomorrow, IFC test over at the NCC campus AGAIN...I'm gonna die. Revising my IFC notes right now, but yeah...my knee. *Sob* We may have to do leopard crawl and whatever thingies...I'm gonna die. If the scab comes out...............
Sheesh. That means no.4 uniform tomorrow PLUS leaving lessons early at 11.30am. Not a very good thing for me. I'd rather do that stupid sewing module than go for a rifle or whateva test. ><
Today Ang Sensei got the cold so she didn't come for Japanese, and we had Akimoto Sensei as a relief teacher. She's okay I think, her teaching style's a lil slow and at times...when she says everything in Japanese, it can get a lil confusing. Tiffy and I wished Ang Sensei a "get well soon" too, and she was happy XD.
OH YEAH. Today's Jia Hui's birthday, 29th July!!! Woo hooooooooo grats and HAPPY BDAE JIA HUI!!!
Since I've got some time here...(today's slack, finished History PT and all that so nothing much to bother about), I'm gonna start a little on my findings and thoughts these days. Haven't been talking much about spirituality, apparently Chen Yun and I got pissed off by a very practical RI guy who so doesn't understand our convos.
Skip the following spiritual part if you want. I don't expect anybody (except a certain few) to even bother a heck about it anyway.
Well, for healing, I've done another finding through thinking over certain stuff. There was one day when it was rigth after a rain so there were occasional raindrops from the sky, and as I cycled home, I felt the water splatter on my arm. So I was thinking...why do certain things feel nice and certain things don't? Why does the coolness of a raindrop refresh and the scalding of a fire result in pain?
If so, why do we feel scalded? What is the meaning behind this sensation which branches into this sharp stab in our consciousness, why does it cause this much harm to us, why don't we like it as much as the coolness of a raindrop on the skin? And in turn...why doesn't a raindrop feel painful? Why doesn't it bring pain and uncomfortable sensations like a scald from a flame does?
And following this line of reasoning, I managed to come to the final result of "even spreading of energy frequencies". If a certain object, for example a cooling raindrop, carries a balanced vibrational frequency which is similar to the person's, it will carry forth a pleasant sensation to the subject. When energy frequencies are too high or too low, and not fitted to the subject's personal vibrational grids, then it can only cause destruction and create unpleasant sensations. Just imagine it like a ripple in a calm sea, originating from the point in the energy field where that negative frequency hit and entered the subject's energy realms. This also happens to cause certain amount of destruction to our chakras too, for they begin to be blocked by accumulated negative energies.
That's why if we raise or lower our vibrational frequencies accordingly, in alignment to that of the origin of certain sensations, we can disregard unpleasant energy clashes and be in harmony with the frequencies of all kinds. On a larger scale, we can alternate our frequencies back and forth according to a much more vast realm of allowance, as in...our limits are not that constrained. This will allow healing to operate much more efficiently and at any time, any place, it will be able to happen naturally.
As such, that leaves us with one more step to go to enhance this operation. We'll need to find a way to alternate energy frequencies in personal energy fields, firstly our own and gradually progressing towards a more universal scale, so as to vibrate in harmony with the varied kinds of vibrations existent in this world. We may be able, using this method, to transform many unpleasant sensations into pleasant ones, and negative energy frequencies such as pain and anger will be slowly depleted.
One more question from this finding...if we can attempt this for physical healing and amending of feelings/sensations, is it really possible to try this same method for healing emotional and spiritual cases? The vibrations in this world are bereft of a certain level of awareness. If we incorporate this observation into our practices, will we be able to span out the frequency allowance plane on a global scale?
This is one of my observations, and I'm hoping to find chances to incorporate it into my practice attempts.
Alright, I've gotta go now. Better fold my NCC sleeves...revise some IFC notes...before I start dying straightaway tomorrow.
*Affirms* NO rifle bruises for you, Zann!
Nighties, bye. Cya guys, will try to write sooner or later. XD***~~~*The Winds struck at 10.06pm*~~~
Monday, July 28, 2008
Time constrain...I'm gonna keep my post today short and...hopefully, sweet.
Completed history PT yesterday. Cui Qin was chionging also XD luckily I woke up at 6.45 am for Sat and Sun just to do it.
Had an intuition of my orientation T-shirt yesterday night, but I didn't bring. And today I realized that we were supposed to wear NCC Air No. 4 uniform WITH the Orientation T-shirt so I was like WTH!!!!!???? But they didn't say anything much about it, and basically I was ok. Even if I wore No 4 I can't do the IFCs too...my knees. -.- Yea and we've got stupid IFC test at HQ on Wednesdays. Have to test on handling rifles blah blah blah...so boring.
Haiz.....Listen to your intuitions.
Had a vision of me meeting my mom on the way home as I cycled, and I did. Also...during Chinese lesson, I thought of Hilary and the teacher REALLY DID call her to answer the question!!! Wow...I love my intuitions XD.
Okay......................Mrs Chia's back. Showed us some pictures on Baby Vaughn. Quite cute I think, the way he cried. He looks a lil like a crystal child, from the way his eyes looked while I did a brief analysis on them in the video. They looked kinda...penetrating and calculating, though not that clear. Observant, rather. A better word indeed.
Did another photoshop. -.- It's simple, I was just creating a desktop wallpaper about rain and japanese...here goes.
The reflection of words is actually pretty hard to do, you know. Lol. I love this atmosphere, ornaments my desktop REALLY WELL.
Okay, gtg, cya night bye...take care guys. ***~~~*The Winds struck at 10.30pm*~~~
Friday, July 25, 2008
Grats, Kendra. I got a scraped knee. 3) Lanterns of Love Description: In the tender petals of a fiery love blossom, you can see the reflections of abundant bittersweetness, that unique aroma of hurt and comfort, wafting about in the delicate silkiness. In love, there is never a direction. Love is always lost, there is no one true direction you have to follow. It is free, it is wild, it is unlimited beyond the heavens. It all depends on how we set our own standards against it. The sweetness of love is eagerly savoured, but all the while, it can sting you like a poisonous thorn. As such, Love is dangerous, betraying, unfaithful. 4) Fading Shades Description: A lousy draft of a green-themed picture, originally attempted to be created for Azzy, but I think it failed miserably cuz I darkened the green too much and too dense. There isn't much contrast which makes this pic boring to look at. But still...it's an effort of mine. Shows a dilapidated glade where vines grow all over, and there seems to be fading trees faltering in the distance, faint and silent, bearing the soft burdens of winds and rain. Colour is schemed with green and a lil bit of yellow and blue.
THAT'S..............BAD. U get what I mean??? BAD. First due to my luck (crashed into Azzy in the middle of a PE gym training and fell), second due to the pain, third due to all those stupid things I've gotta start doing gingerly or couldn't do. Curse that infection of the wound too, Mrs Jay says to leave it open so it can heal faster, but seriously...doesn't it get infected with...PATHOGENS entering the skin or something??? Hello...Biology? o.O Ms Tan???
Bled throughout the whole PE. Haiz...dealt with it in nonchalance but doesn't seem to help either. It TOTALLY SO DIDN'T HELP when Katherine accidentally slammed her Jap file into my scraped knee on the bus. -.-
Okay, I've got a nosebleed now. As if it isn't enough to make things go worse. Thank heavens I'm not that Ian Doomed that we saw in philosophy, at least my mind and body's still...intact somehow.Had some bit of time before third lang so I drew on the whiteboard Jia Hui and Tiffy arguing, since Jia Hui claimed that she was angry with Tiffy going for CES and not coming over to 107 to see her, so I decided to depict this scene in my drawing! XP KAWAII DESU!!! 
Parents weren't at home when I returned at 8, and since I had a lil bit of time and PEACE from their naggings...I managed to complete 4 more photoshop pictures. Here goes.
1) Radiation of Blue
Description: Playing around with swirling fractal brushes...it kinda expresses a type of joyful yet strong and colourful energy of blue. It looks as though it's both sucking in and radiating, so it might be a combination of both. A portal of strength and curiosity where warmth blends into the swirling masses of energy. I like this pic, don't flame me cuz I prefer to be conversed with in an appropriate tone, even if you don't like it. -.- Sorry for the sudden strictness. I just felt bored.
2) Always Ahead of the Darkness
Description: I was just being random with this pic, creating a purple sky just because I was playing around with colours and realized I kinda like that purple they provided. XP If you're observant or even cares a heck about my picture, you'd see a faint imprint of an eagle at the back around the top right hand corner where there seems to be a lighted part of the darknened indigo sky. The darkness behind is constantly chasing, yet the eagle soars, determined to keep ahead of all hardships and negative energies hot on their heels. It is desperate but steady, and leads me to ponder a question in life. How often do we live like this, steadily treading with careful steps, but with that desperation and pain, that never-ending expanse of limitation, lingering forever in the lonely footsteps of our paths? 
Oww....my knee hurts.
Okay, Tiffy today was MIRACULOUS. She mounted a bike herself and rode for such a long distance!!! WOOHOOOO!!! She mounted!!! Yay I'm so proud of her. XD My proud student. Haha. She says she loves my bike. Hi-five, gal. Me too.
Baby hammies STILL ALIVE. Omg yay. Ts got something to do with me blessing them with light the first day I realized they were born, but since I only blessed 3 accidentally (I thought there were only 3 but actually there were 4), 1 died by the time I was home. Omg...-.- Haiz.
Chen Yun says she's cursed by her lil bro who was dead by birth. Hmm creeepy...she allowed me to access her inner world to look for abnormalities and it appears that she's gotten herself into a large-scale curse. -.- That sucks. But haiz...have to help her out on this Sunday.
Okay I gtg soon. Nid bathe and do History PT. Tomorrow's drama production show...cya night bye.***~~~*The Winds struck at 10.13pm*~~~
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Well Azzy had been pestering me last time about why I hadn't been doing any new photoshop pictures, so today I've just finished searching for the History stuff so I'd got a bit more time...I did 2 pieces. -.-
Oh well...titled it "Freedom in a Reptile's Skin". It's showing this piece of reptile skin, reflecting the glories of nature which it had once experienced, bathed in that nice universal warmth of sunshine and rubbed against many rocks and waters of all kinds. But due to human poaching...the glories of this reptile's skin has to be brought to a stop. It is peeled down, cruelly, but all the while it remembers all its wonderful expriences even though it was now bereft of them, happy memories that it will forever behold even in death.
That's it. This picture's...message is to stop illegal poaching, for WHAT'S the use of it? Is an intricate little life even more worthless than a Crocodile Handbag??? Think!
I'm getting exasperated indeed.Now we have..."Touch of Antiquity". Playing around with the fading of brush colours XD and this thing came out. I kinda like it. Feeeeels sooooooothing. XP
Okay, really bye now. Won't disturb u guys anymore...I'm gettin sleepy. Cya guys, bye.***
~~~*The Winds have slept at 9.57pm*~~~
Hey you guys know something? I found this piece of Japanese work I've written on my old dead blog...It's supposed to be inspirational, it's sad and it's lonely. I've used to wanna write it for somebody else, whoever is in depression and reads this, but now it seems to echo my own feelings so well that I wonder...if that "somebody" I had thought of when I was writing those words...was in fact myself.
Okay...I'll just post it up. Too bad if you can't read Japanese.
But basically it tells of this girl living alone in a vast world of snow, where the winds were full of snow, where there wasn't any moon, flowers, oceans or light...anything but snow. She cried, alone, under a tree, yet she tries to reassure herself that she didn't cry. She did not want to cry.
Yet, questions come. She wonders what kind of world she is living in, and what is the truth behind all things. Sitting down, she writes the words "Ame", or in English "rain", in the snow. She starts questioning why there isn't any rain in her world. She doesn't know what it is, and begins to realize how small, cold and dark her world is. And in a strange bout of determination, she embarks upon a journey to search for a flame, a small yellow flame that would melt the snow in this world and create a rain she had yearned for so long. She searched and searched...seven days had passed, but nothing happened.
There wasn't the flame.
Yet she will continue to search, forever, until she can find that spark of yellow amidst the never-ending blankets of pure white. She searched yesterday, and searched today, and will search tomorrow. When it will end was still a question; a question of the world, a question of the truth. She won't ever give up till she's found...that small yellow flame.
"When will I find it?"
Jyaa, ima hajimemasu. あれは寒くて暗い冬です。あの静かな風や雪の声。。。大きい声で泣きました。。。この時、白い世界に女の子は一人で木の下に泣きました。そう、風と雪の歌は聞きませんでした。かのじょの命は悲しいですから、一生の歌は全然聴きません。 ------------------------------------------------------「私は泣きませんでした。。。泣きません。。。」 ------------------------------------------------------女の子と言って、雪に“雨”を書きました。 ------------------------------------------------------「雨は何ですか。ここになぜ。。。なぜ雨がありませんか。この世界はどんなところですか。」------------------------------------------------------そう、女の子の世界はいつも雪の世界です。寒くて狭くて小さい世界です。それから、風につっと雪がありました。雨はありません。月や花や明りもありません。つっと雪です。だから、火焔を捜しました。一日。。。二日。。。三日。。。四日。。。五日。。。六日。。。------------------------------------------------------ 七日です。でも、この雪の世界に火焔がありますか。雪。。。白い雪。。。火焔はどこにありますか。黄色い火焔。。。黄色い火焔。。。どこか。 ------------------------------------------------------昨日は捜しました。今も捜します。明日も捜します。でも。。。いつまで、それは質問です。この世界の質問、真実の質問。。。 ------------------------------------------------------いつその火焔を捜しますか。。。------------------------------------------------------
＊＊＊
Searching for a Flame in a World of Snow
It Does Sound Impossible
But I Will Sustain
Through All the Winter Winds
And Search for It.
A Flame Which Will Melt the Snow
And Create a Rain I've Hoped for So Long.
＊＊＊***~~~*The Winds are too lazy to strike a second time today*~~~
Oh well...I suppose today was relatively...so-so. We did have a slow start after the one week hols, cuz our Cikgu couldn't come for Bahasa Melayu today so we got free of extra lessons. Reached home at 4 pm, around the earliest I could ever reach home unless, on some occasions, we don't have NCC training on Wednesdays...in that case I'd reach home at 2 something. o.O
Dad fixed that bug in my com, grats.
Haiz...tiring day though we did get to go home early. Well...especially geog, it was in the late afternoon and Ms Wong wanted the air-cons off and doors open to VENTILATE...In fact it kinda stuffed up my whole brain. SO WARMMMMM!!! And she wanted us to concentrate so didn't allow us to copy what she wrote on the board...that made it worse. I was seriously gonna droop off the table, man.
Tried a new type of bun today. It's a pork bun, REALLY NICE. Feels so waaaaarmm...great for a rainy day in rgs. XD And during recess becuz the Lit teacher let us off 5 minutes late, the ice milo at stall 1 was seriously...depleted. I GOT THE LAST CUP. Wooo hoooooooo! The canteen vendor said I was lucky. XD Sry Cherlyyn...I seriously didn't know it wasn't enough for 2 cups.
But then I offered to share and u didnt want to so yeah...o.O
Okay, was digging in my "Art and Design" folder on the desktop just to look at my photoshop pictures...suddenly saw one which is called "Assassination" and I've not yet put it up on the blog. Quite an old picture. I think I did it when I was feeling somewhat emo or something. -.-
Ah well. Yesterday got a lil emo somehow...depressed when I suddenly thought over something -.- which I'd keep private here. This blog's my only outlet but there're things which have to be kept secret no matter what.
Well I chatted with Brendan and good that he realized I was depressed, from my words. Oh well...he told me to cheer up. Mrs Tan noticed it too, she said so in her sms also. Haiz...makes me feel so helpless though they were a good comfort. I mean...Bren's so far the only one who gets to know that I'm depressed without me telling him so.
Sad.
Okay, I've left a bit more sites to search on so that Jia Hui can have a better choice to choose from, and anyway the History teacher won't think we copied like that...oh well. Wish me good luck, wouldya? Thanks wind.
Bye. Night. Sweet Dreams. Cya. -.-***~~~*The Winds struck at 8.27pm*~~~
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Just thought of a phrase I created today. "We worship and we rely, but when we believe, we create." Ok that's all. o.O
Haiz...I wish I can reaaaaaally just take a lil break from all these crap. It's never-ending, and I can't find a way out. Besides...the gradual shadowing of this reality right now is frightening me, the way people don't see the truth and the COMMON SENSE behind many things.
Well why do I say this...? Apparently today on the bus I sat beside this uncle, who was...in some words pretty inconsiderate and BLASTED a traditional hokkien song that sounded so creamy and...disgusting. Okay...it's his choice of song but I seriously dislike the tune; it makes me wanna puke. Well the whole bus was staring at him and a lady behind whispered something, and he got angry, so he was like "Say lah. It's my freedom what. If you're rude then I'll be rude also lah." The vibrations he carried in that speech was disturbing. It's rooted from some serious hole in his spiritual energy field. -.-
Don't ask me why, I just tried healing with the Light Waterfall Technique again. It's good, the technique, cuz it kinda works more and more efficiently especially when I'm frequently practising it. Yeah well...pretended as though I'm sleeping and it was easier cuz there were less distractions, so first I tried calming that guy down. I had that familiar light confidence in this becuz he was just sitting next to me, a close distance, so it was easy to connect.
Then I tried raising his vibrational energies by visualizing his molecular fields, and leading light into them. Well...light raises vibrations, so I think it worked though I'm not sure. I DID have this vision of everybody's vibrational energies in that bus and I managed to see his a lil higher than last time, though I'm not sure if it would last. I visualized myself opening a window in his room of mind and allowing the light in, but perhaps overtime that window pane will close again. Haiz...tiring. It's hard to heal sometimes, takes lots of energy and drains your own especially when you're working with transferring that stream of light over.
I don't know if I have to keep doing this till the ascension comes in 2012. It's gonna be tough, though I do hope I'll manage through all that.
OH YEAH. My hammies gave birth to 4 miraculous babies! Dango and Omusu! Ahh well, I saw it when I was filling their food tray today morning, spotted something wriggling amongst the shredded tissues and GASPED IN SHOCK. XD They were cute, small, grayish pink. Awww........
But 1 died by the time I came home from school. Not sure if the Dango bit it or something, but when I held it in my hand, it was STARK COLD. FREEZING. DEAD.
No blood circulation I guess. That's so...sad.
Okay...did camouflage stuff for NCC Air today, had to wear no.4 uniform and roll around in the mud. THANK HEAVENS HUH, THANKS FOR THE RAIN TODAY MORNING. REALLY. THAAAAAAANNNNKKKKSSSS. Thanks for making the mud watery. Heh.
Learnt about Arc of Fire...Field Signals, Indication of Target, Estimation of Distances...blah blah. First time I tried the "Seek Cover" thingy, I got spotted by Maam XD. The second time was better, though Sergeant Amanda saw Jia Jing and I huddled behind a mess of trees. Well Maam said we were good cuz she didn't see us though. ^^ Quite fun, just that it was really dirty.
Alright, did sewing module for Aesthetics today anyway. Haiz...I hate sewing. No offense, but I really do. I don't like the kind of arts and design whereby you sit down before some monotonous buzzing machine AND with the high risk of letting a needle slice through your whole skin and bone. -.- Scary AND boring AND stupid. It's craft, too solid, not the kind of fluid creativity that you can express on canvas and paper, something you can draw or paint or colour. No offense, sewing-lovers. Don't pitchfork me.
Cuz even if I'm deprived of many rights, I'm still fighting to maintain what little of real choice freedom I have now.
Fine. I won't get more emo now.
Bye people, I gotta go do my share of researching the History PT or Jia Hui's gonna be the one killing me. *Holds up her birthday package meekly* Don't kill me~I did this for you!
Okay bye. Cya, nighties. Sweet dreams even if it's ghost fest.
PS: I did feel a ghost in my room tho, energies felt like a male. There was heat when he was close too. Haiz...luckily he left after around 10 min. Felt him around 2 days ago when I was chatting with Chen Yun online. He was loitering in my room and I had sudden flashing visions of his positions around the house, like...tracking his energy routes. -.- It was creepy. But he was gone after awhile, through the door.***~~~*The Winds struck at 9.08pm*~~~
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Haiz...the sleepy bug's got me right now. I feel as though I wanna sleep but there's just so many things to type...and besides my net just crashed over at my own account so I'm using another account to access...later have to touch up on History PT.
Today I just healed somebody of her sorethroat (don't worry Azzy and Tiffy, it's not you) cuz there just seems to be so many people down with swollen voices today. She didn't give me permission to put up her name up here so...I'll just call her Ahana from Jap class. XD That's her nick. Yeah so...I used the waterfall technique and it was easier to send the vibrational energies when I came into contact with her shoulder; apparently I was slinging my arm over her shoulder XD and took that opportunity to intensify the visualization and heal her.
And OMG SHE STARTED TALKING. I can't believe it. Before that she said her sorethroat was so serious she couldn't talk. And a while after I healed her, she TALKED LIKE NORMAL. Omg I was so shocked, and she said she felt better. At least her voice came back.
I MAKE IT CLEAR ONCE AGAIN, for personal rights and OMG JUST TO AVOID SOMEBODY FROM TRYING TO KILL ME unreasonably...This is NOT Azzy. *Stares and nods* Yea I know Azzy, you tend to mistake everything for yourself even if it's jus a simple resemblance like a plait or a jacket around the waist...
Now I do wonder why people keep coming down with sorethroat since the first day of school started.
Okay...got back my Japanese results. Had 46.5/50, wasn't bad though it didn't reach my expectations. 2 careless mistakes, and originally I got 47.5 just that the teacher marked one question wrongly and I realized that. -.- I wonder how much Zera-san got. Haiz...competition, competition, competition. Bad cycle indeed.
And yesterday night at 10.30pm I met up with Chen Yun in our respective visualizations of the 5th dimension, I told her to meet me at the entrance with all the liquid light ocean and an arch door behind. The whole place was filled with light, and since I'm more accustomed to accessing the 5th dimension freely, I was pretty inferior to the 6th. The 6th felt...heavy. Suffocating, as though it was to powerful and advanced for my visualizations and lightbody to bear.
Well...the visualization wasn't so good having the two of us being together, cuz it's harder to concentrate on holding still the vision of that dimension when we're trying to imagine the other beside ourselves. It's...tough and we all wanted to fall asleep. However, since I fell asleep in the middle of the visualization, my dream continued from about where I ended. It had got great relevancy to the topic of guiding Chen Yun around the 5th dimension, and we were in this place full of light, talking about our experiences in the 5th dimension. I felt pure in the dream, cleansed of all the black invaders of the heart and refreshed, eager about life's continuous flow as though it was a totally different age I was living in.
I've never gotten this feeling in reality before. In the 5th dimension light reverbrates whithin me. It feels downright pure, cooling, comforting.
Alright...sometime over the art lessons Chen Yun's gonna show me around the 6th dimension since she's more comfortable with the darkness and heaviness...
Oh yeah. Yesterday I did this abstract piece of art with crayons out of boredom, since watercolour takes up at least about 2h for a good picture, so I didn't really do it. I titled that picture "Explorations of Thought", and I kinda like it. Feels as though you're in some weird fancy chamber. It's ABSTRACT...ABBIE, YOU SEE. That's why never try to ask me what's in there. You interpret these urself. Colours are not so good since it's taken down by a phone and the lighting made the colour...lose one ounce of it's original depths. -.-
Here goes.
Yeah well. Tomorrow NCC Air...nid to wear No. 4 uniform. Haiz...I don't really like no. 4. I think we're doing camouflage or something. I prefer no. 3 uniform...-.-
Ok night guys. I gotta start on the PT and later fold my no 4 uniform sleeves...cya then. Nighties~***~~~*The Winds struck at 10.13pm*~~~
Monday, July 21, 2008
HEY people I took this aura quiz which tells ya which coloured aura you are, and it appears that mine is Blue. XD That's the main aura colour of Indigos. Well it's another step forward to confirming my Indigo character...
Sorry I'm kinda unable to post the result table up here. Anyway I've got 2 more hols homework not yet finished...haiz school's started again. More dark times...
Today we had RHD. Wasn't so fun afterall, especially when they try to force us to do games and cultural appreciations. Well, I prefer to be left to my own devices, man. The only thing enjoyable was the Concert. -.-
Anyway I'm suspecting that I'm an Indigo Type 2 instead of Type 3 like I once thought I was. Well...types 3 are mathematically inclined, love sports, and have serious discipline problems and are rough against authority; usually problematic people mis-diagnosed with ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). Types 2, however, are artistically and musically inclined and are generally alright. Well I'm okay with discipline I think; was one of those silent obedient ones in NCC Air lol. I'm just trying to avoid excessive trouble, that's what I do, even though I may hate authority to certain degrees at times.
But I don't think I'm that pro enough to have a Type 2 24-strand DNA template. -.- Come to think of it...they say that we don't know stuff about ourselves before our potentials are fully awakened. Maybe I do have one, just that the templates and fire letter sequences within are distorted by human genetic processes at birth. Inherited from parents, you know. Well let's just sit back and wait for now...hope I'll be able to clear my disorders. There's an activation technique DNA templates but yeah...no, I don't wanna mix around with dirty web money. Very sorry to say so. I'd like to try that technique via visualization on myself if possible.
My friend's grandpa just left the world yesterday. I'm not disclosing her name just for privacy and confidential stuff, cuz I'm sure it's not that nice to...yeah. C'mon, cheer up. It won't be that bad, cuz he'll be waiting for you in another 5th dimension during the 2012 ascension, if you believe me.
Well you see...these days I suddenly had this feeling that even if people left me, I'm not afraid or really sad or anything. I've tele-visualized the whole situation of somebody close leaving me forever, yet I don't get that "forever" feeling. It's as though she's flying to Hawaii for a trip, to check things out before the other generations start to immigrate over. Like...first-hand experiencing that joy before anybody else.
It's weird. Now I've started to view death differently. I mean the natural kind of death. I view it as a crossover from our current 3rd dimensional grid to a 5th dimension of light frequency, one of higher energies, and I'm just waiting 4 more years for the global ascension to come. It will be a merging of our current dimension, an evolution, into that of the 5th. Our molecules will begin to absorb more and more light, that of the 5th dimension, in this process. By that time we will have fully-evolved light bodies. Physical features will be different due to their raised vibrational frequencies of light. I've got a vision here in my head right now.
Besides, after some time this year I've started neglecting all religious beliefs, even though I'd used to stick faithfully with God throughout. Whenever I'd asked for something to happen, I feel more of connecting with my own higher being and the energy frequencies of the Universal Source. It feels as though the god which creates everything in my own life is right here inside my own body. I've started to view beings as creators, manifestations occur in thought frequencies, which is something that will happen in the 5th dimension.
They say that at a certain point of evolution, Indigo children will let go of all religious beliefs. I think that's true. Right now whenever I wish for something, the religious plane appears to be much lower than a higher spiritual plane, where the cosmic creators exist. And no matter what, I start to feel a connection with the spiritual plane instead. Gone was the warm pleasantries I'd used to feel in the religious planes, because even though I'd tried to gain that belief back, I'm walking my own way towards spirituality. I don't understand it, but I'm living with it.
Okay, I've gotta go. Chen Yun's coming up to talk to me about Indigos...she's got lots of questions. Well apparently she's an Indigo too, with certain psychic experiences of destructing computers with the mind, subconsciously, when she was angry...will try to post these up when I've got the time.
Bye. Cya guys.***~~~*The Winds struck at 1.59pm*~~~
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Today was...stupid. Boring. What else can I say. -.- Mom wasn't at home for a saturday cuz she had to attend this...er...English lesson or something, organized by her school. Yeah so...I had to touch up on all my hols homework, Jap compo and some other crap, like...rushing through Math Tuition homework and 15 minutes later I've gotta start up my History PT. Okay, firstly, I did this painting out of boredom. It was originally supposed to be about "imagination" but in the end it turned out to be "Death". Yeah well...looks like some weird dream. So I titled it "Death in a Dream". Woophs lol.Here goes.
Stumbled into this site called Art Akiane, WONDERFUL ARTWORKS. Omg she's only 12!!! And she'd started painting like a damn experienced artist. Her artworks like Quantum World, Creation, Dreams, The Pyramids, Inspiration, Dance of the Mind, Endurance...I feel so belittled. Feels as though I'm standing in-front of Van Gogh or somebody. -.- Haiz...she's an Indigo. A really talented type too. Okay let's stop feeling pathetic. There's somebody more pathetic than us yesterday. Okay not pathetic, more of...sad life. Yesterday when I was writing Jap compo in my room at night, some guy from the opposite block was yelling DAMN LOUDLY. I dunno...apparently he was arguing wish his parents. Son: TELL U??? TELL U WHAT? TELL U PROBLEM U OSO DUN CARE. EVERYTHING U DUN CARE. TELL U FOR WHAT??? Son: YOU EVERYTIME WHACK ME. U KNOW MY INSIDE HERE VERY SCARED OF U LEH. I DUN WANNA SEE YOU. EVERYTIME I SEE U U WHACK ME. IM SCARED OF SEEING U. Mom: Mommy just wanted u to change. Son: I TRIED TO CHANGE. This is just an excerpt...too lazy to type everything out. I don't want a furious rampant on my blog anyway...too many caps make me go dizzy. 0.o So apparently he said something about him hating this world, that he didn't want to live, that he wanted to crash he car, he wish his parents would whack him to death also can. Haiz...at that point of time I just nuzzled my forehead and bit back that feeling of crying. I DUNNO WHY. Omg...I just started feeling so anxious. And scenes of CLE lessons played back in my mind. You know...when Mrs Jay said "there was nobody to guide them" about that guy who stole a rifle from NS to kill his ex-girlfriend. So when he said he didn't want to live, I felt as though the same thing is gonna happen if nothing is done. It gave me a terrible hopeless feeling, and I just felt frustrated at how dark reality is and how haywire normal families have gone. There wasn't that unconditional love in this world anymore. None. It's all darkness, people suffering in silence; apparently this guy bottled up all his feelings for 14 years as he said. It's a sad truth you know, reality, I wonder if it would really be so much different if we lived in the 5th dimension of light. The current society lacks light. I'm not trying to act empathic or sympathetic. It's true...though I may sound like some kid moping over a cup of spilt milk. Well, it's kinda right anyway. Honestly, this society right now is a cup of spilt milk. And I dunno what to do besides mope and try things over with visualization. I dunno how to help. I dunno the exact method. So I tried out this Universal Light-Waterfall visualization technique which I found from an Indigo website, you can only do it well if you have tele-visualization skills (holographic thinking). Yeah...so I visualized that I'm standing within this light waterfall, filled with love, and it was flowing into me from the top of my head / crown chakra. It replenished my energies and flowed down through me to the bottom of Earth. They call this grounding. Yeah...I could really feel that liquid light, it felt so soothing and gentle and warm...closer to me than anything, closer than any other dimension or reality or any soul. It felt as though it was part of me. So I grabbed hold of this timing and did as they said, transferring the stream of light to the heart chakra guy in that block to heal his energies. Lol I exerted a lot of force in passing that beam of energy over, because even though I'm not sure if this technique really works, I was pretty desperate to help him calm down. I'm sure that if my willpower gets strong enough, it may have some effect on his spiritual plains. And the weird thing is...they stopped arguing immediately after I finished the visualization. REALLY IMMEDIATELY. Before that they were screaming and shouting and fighting and after I finished visualizing, they stopped. Abruptly. All of a sudden as though everybody fainted. I got damn shocked lol. So in bed I was still very desperate about helping him recover from his depression, so even though I didn't know his face, I made up one to represent him so as to aid my visualization. And I entered my world to meet my "higher being" so we merged energies to create a stronger beam of light, and yeah...same thing happens...it's basically just repeating the technique with my higher being. That's all. Dad's coming home from Hawaii today!!! He's reaching Singapore at 12 midnight and I'll be able to see him at 1 am. That's why mom told me to sleep first, and she'd call me later when he's back. XD He's gonna be back. YAY and the guitar too. XP Yesterday I did Taiko drum over at moelc, from 3 pm to 5pm. IT WAS MIRACULOUS. I love the drums!!!!!!! The rhythm is cooooool. Don Don Don sore Doko n ko don sore!!! Don "ni san hai" Don "ni san hai" Don "hai" Don "hai" Don "Hai" Don "Hai" Don Don Don Don Don Don Don Don Dondon Dondon Dondon Dondon Dondon Dondon Dondon Dondon Dondon Dondon Dondon Dondon Dondon Dondon Dondon Dondon. And goes back to the start. XD I LOVE IT. Okay, I should do something about my History PT, gotta go now. Cya guys, nightie and sweet dreams~***~~~*The Winds struck at 9.51pm*~~~
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Today's...generally ok again. Tiring though I got to be at home. o.O Played Audi with Azzy for a moment or two and omg she's damn pro! Novice already. I'm still a stiffy. XD Okay, I'll say that my fav songs are..."mov mov" and "swan lake", and maybe..."New York" and "Canon Groove" or was it spelt like that...Lol.
Spent another...1 hour on composing a new novice score for our school song "From High Olympus". This one is also...part of Jia Hui's birthday present package from me! Music scores...Well apprently I don't have the real score, so I decided to make one of my own from memory...haiz don't expect too much cuz I'm not diplo or something. I'm only grade 7 and I suck at theories, so don't laugh if you see any composition mistakes. Just mind the notes, wouldya.
Okay, I think I gtg now, can't talk too much today. Nid to read Chinese now. AGAIN. -.- Oh well, cya guys. I haven't finished my homework yet by the way...and tomorrow I'm having Taiko Drum Exprience. It's gonna take up half of my day and I don't think I'll be able to finish everything. Well, we still have a Racial Harmony Day. I'll use that to touch up on any unfinished things or scrippy-scrappy work. XD
Cya, bye. Nightie! Sweet dreams~***~~~*The Winds struck at 10.03pm*~~~
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Haha hi peeps! Today was...relatively good eh? o.O Firstly, I'll post up this short little music score for the Jap Te-form song XD. Well, apparently Jia Hui came over to my house and she "challenged" me to play the Te-form song on the piano with both left and right hands, so I just played by what I felt was right...yeah, it's a pretty novice little piece but at least, it's better than only the right hand notes. ^^
Well, Jia Hui's birthday is coming pretty soon, I still didn't know what to give her...I can't guarantee that I'd have the time to draw a really good picture for her, since I normally practise instead of drawing big pictures. So I decided that I should, instead, write out that piano score for the Te-form song!!! Haha this is dedicated to Jia Hui-san. Happy B'dae!!!
Here're the lyrics for the song by the way:
(Ang Sensei Version)
うつるって、むぶぬんで
くいて、ぐいで
すうして、するして
くるきて
てフォム
(Kim Sensei Version)
うつるて、むぶぬんで
くいて、ぐいで、すして
するして、くるきて
行くは行って
Okies!!! Anyway today I was searching up on Parapsychological stuff again...looked up on Telepathy and found some pretty useful info. The telepathic grid, they call it, is supposed to be a dark black void with flashes/electricity everywhere. I tried connecting to it, it feels so full of energy lol, like a fully charged...electric field. I tried telepathy with my mom, even though she didn't know it, and yeah...I was asking her where she was. And one of the flashes sounded in my left ear: Woodlands.
So I called her and INDEED she was in Woodlands. Omg...normally by that time she should've been in Choa Chu Kang already. And it freaked me out because...the telepathic grid was exactly what I had visualized in P6 during all those telepathic exercises I had with my friends.
Went to Woodlands Regional Library today to finish up on the Lit project work, one of us was late (name undisclosed), so the rest of us started first...brought my laptop along. I had to act as Maudie Atkinson from the play "To Kill a Mockingbird" and yeah...had to get a long black gown from my mom for the skit...Oh well, good that we managed to finish the project.
Tried a bit of Wonderland game today. Not that fun, I think I'll delete it. I'm swapping back to Aud, though I'm not really playing it. -.- I just left it in my com. Deleted maple cuz I'm not gonna touch it anymore...
Okay, mom screaming at me to go read Chinese. Oh well, so sad. Bye. Cya guys, nightie. Take care!***~~~*The Winds struck at 10.30pm*~~~
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Sir Benedict linked this personality test to his blog so I took it, and yeah...turns out that I'm a...dreamer? o.O INFP Personality. Introspective, Intuitive, Feeling and Perceiving. Cool...ya know something? This DESCRIBED MY PERSONALITY REALLY FULLY. Omg...
Wooo hoooo sweet that means I'm a dreamer! Sounds stupid but visionary sounds cooler. XD Idealists. Yay I like being imaginative.
Anyway here's the characteristics of INFPs:
INFP - The "Dreamer"
Jung/Myers/Briggs Personality Types (Free Test)
INFPs are introspective, private, creative and highly idealistic individuals that have a constant desire to be on a meaningful path. They are driven by their values and seek peace. Empathetic and compassionate, they want to help others and humanity as a whole. INFPs are imaginitive, artistic and often have a talent for language and writing. They can also be described as easygoing, selfless, guarded, adaptable, patient and loyal.
_______________________________________________________
Anyway, I saw something weird on Sir Benedict's blog...something about his father walking out of his life a few years ago or something? o.O I'm not very sure...didn't read carefully. But if that's true, then I didn't know it at all. Well he looked happy and all that...but that's just a mask, right? Everybody has masks to protect that fragile inner feelings.
He said that life was so fragile and someday, people you like may just turn into your enemy. That's very true. View life as a river and you and your friends are on one side at the start of the journey of life, but as time flows, your friend finds a boat and crosses to the other side, leaving you here. That can be interpreted as many roots which kindle uncomfortable emotions...jealousy, betrayal, leaving others behind...
I know I don't understand as much about "single-parented life" as Sir Benedict but from my own thinking, if it was me, I would make use of such unpleasant experiences to ensure that in my future life, such things never happen to my children or friends. This is called empathy, a flexible power which exists everywhere in the cosmic realms. It is in everyone of us, and it only differs with the way people harness that energy and whether they make good use of it or not. Since you know what it feels like, it is up to you to stop the cycle.
Don't ever seek revenge. Don't ever vent your frustrations on children and whenever you want to do something, such as pressurizing your child in examinations...think about how you'd felt when you were young. I'm sure nobody liked such pressure if it exists over-abundantly, so we all, somewhat in our conscience, wanted to stop it. And now it's up to you.
That's what I feel.
K Cya!!! ***~~~The Winds are sleeping*~~~
BWAHAHAHAHAHAAA HEY GUYS!!! Was having a peep into Sir Benedict's blog since it was linked to Cheese's! XD Found this quiz that he did...pretty funny ya know.
*Whispers* Sir Benedict, I'm posting the quiz up here if you don't mind...just tell me if you want it down. It's pretty amusing you know, I mean the quiz. o.O
Here GOES:
_____________________________________________________
1. The person who passed you this quiz is…
-Liyana [for laughter she says]
2. Your relationship with him/her is…
-She’s my crazy junior from NCC Air
3. Your 5 impressions of him
1. Crazy [Think running around playing cover and concealment with Muni]
2. Outgoing
3. Intelligent
4. Discipline [to an extent]
5. Warped [think obsessed with gays and the gay bar and her wishing to die broke in a doll house]
4. The most memorable thing he has done for you…
-Er surrendered using a white piece of paper on a stick as a flag XP
5. The most memorable words he has said to you…
-"I’m innocent”
6. If he becomes your lover, you will…
-Er…all i can say is wth
7. If he becomes your lover, things he should improve on…
-Like i said, wth
8. If he becomes your enemy, you will…
-Ensure paper and sticks are in the vicinity to allow a surrender, Hehe
9. If he becomes you enemy, the reason will be…
-I have no idea
10. The most desired thing you want to do for him now is…
-Wish her good luck in her senior year?
11. Your overall impression of him is…
-Good
12. How you think people around you will feel about you?
-Er i think half of them are freaked out by me, a third thinks I’m a crazy kid in school, and the rest i have no idea
13. The characteristics you love about yourself are…
-I dunno
14. On the contrary, the characteristics you hate about yourself are..
-Sensitive, too sensitive at times
15. The most ideal person you want to be is…
-I don’t decide that, God does
16. For people that care and like you, say something to them…
-Mm, thanks for being there
17. Pass this quiz to 10 persons that you wish to know how they feel about you.
1. Dwayne
2. Christina
3. Jermaine
4. Amanda
5. Su Ann
6. Tracy
7. Tiffany
8. Miranda
9. David
10. Tiara
18.Who is no.6 having a relationship with at the moment?
-She’s single
19. Is no.9 a male or female?
-Male
20. If no.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?
-It would be a helluva weird thing
21. How about no.8 and 5?
-Their both straight, never gonna happen
22. What is no.2 studying?
-Sec 1
23. When was the last time you had a chat with no.3?
-Today, trainfire [Edit: MSN]
24. What kind of music band does no.8 like?
-I have no idea
25. Does no.1 has any siblings?
-Yeah he has bros
26. Will you woo no.3?
Er no i’d be some pedophile
27. How about no.7?
-OMG! NO!
28. Is no.4 single?
-Yes
30. What is the hobby of no.4?
-Going on laughing sprees with Huiyi
31. Do no.5 and 9 get along well?
-They don’t know each other. But they might if they knew
32. Where is no.2 studying at?
-RGS
33. Say something casually about no.1.
-He’s my good pal from a long long time. A real great bro
34. Have you tried developing feelings for no.8?
-What? [Whoever made up this quizzes are retards]
35. Where does no.9 live at?
-In Pasir Ris?
36. What colour does no.4 like?
-Green, I think.
37. Are no.5 and 1 best friends?
-They don’t know each other though they’re the same age
38. Does no.7 likes no.2?
-It’s a senior junior kinda thing yer know
39. How do you get to know no.2?
-She’s my classmates sister
40. Does no.1 have any pets?
-Don’t recall him having 1
41. Is no.7 the sexiest girl in the world?
-OO [I shall choose to sit on the political fence]
42. Do you think its possible if no.4 and no.5 date each other?
-Not possible [I swear the [person who set this quiz has the hots for lesbians]
43. Say something more about no.6…
-She’s the ben xiao jie who is real nice to hang out with
44. what is your relationship with no.9…
-He’s my NCC junior by 2 batches
45. List all the schools that no.1 to no.10 are in and originally from.
1. Dwayne- ACS(J), ACS(I), SRJC2.
Christina- RGPS, RGSS
3. Jermaine- Rosyth, RGSS
4. Amanda- PCS, RGSS
5. Su Ann- Cedar, ACS(I)
6. Tracy- Nan Hua, SP
7. Tiffany- RGSS
8. Miranda- MBS, RGSS
9. David- ACS(I)
10. Tiara- SCGS, ACS(I)
46. What would you do if no.10 hates you?
-I’d be careful when I’m out at sea [She's my sailing teammate
47. Which of the following are in a relationship? What kind of relationship?
-Next question
48. How did you first met no.3?
-Online when she was freaking out about camp
49. How would you react if no.3 and no.10 are together?
-I'd be, shocked [That's the fourth lesbian pairing in this short quiz]
50. Last question! What would you do if no.4 tells you she is pregnant?
-It be, weird*E*END*__________________________________________________________ Okies, gotta go, enjoy XD bye. ***~~~*The Winds are too lazy to strike for now*~~~
Morning everyone, rise and shine!!! I know I'm being stupid. Fine. Well apparently right here it is...7.08am, I'm gonna leave for Woodlands Library with Tiffy and Jia Hui at 9.30am. ^^ Bringing my laptop along to aid us in searching up...er...MORE info about ancient civilizations.
I don't think I really like the History PT.
Oh well, PTs are PTs, they're not meant to be liked anyway. o.O Art lesson last Sunday was DAMN FUN!!!!!!! Haha my friend and I got shifted to the...er...more different type of sketching, it's like sketching of a plaster statue face...haha we found ourselves sitting awkwardly in-front of this idiotic greek face with a BIG BUSHY BEARD and HAIRY SIDEBURNS and LONG NOSE. Oh well...the hairs gave us a terrible time.
So terrible that Chen Yun drew it until it looked as though he put on earphones and had a bad nosebleed.
So terrible that Rui Jia said "if in 5 minutes my face doesn't turn into his..." and I was like "Your face???"
So terrible that Chen Yun asked "Who's hand is feeling tired" and Rui Jia replied "you should ask it the other way round."
So terrible that we begun talking all sorts of crap about philo, school, art, the Big Bang, the end of the world, drawing apollo...
BUT IT'S THE BEST LESSON EVER!!! We were the only 3 inside that small little room sitting in-front of big tall boards lol...It's really great. We got to joke, because the rest of the kids were outside drawing 2 dead fish so we could talk inside. XD
Yesterday we had Platoon Bonding, which was basically an outing to Army Market then to Bugis Junction. XD It was okay I think...a little boring at times and I wonder how some of the time just got wasted away loitering around, telling jokes...but it's still good. Jokes DO bond anyway, so I'm not really against them.
Anyway something happened in the platoon, I'm too lazy to give the details because it is...er...not very easy to explain, but we managed to solve it. Though that problem got a few of us terribly pissed at times, we still managed to solve it. We talked, we solved the problem ourselves.
Oh I'm so proud of the Part A platoon. We even had a platoon hug and that felt so warm...THIS is called real bonding. Even if that problem dampened all our feelings for the day, I still think that no matter what, we got to understand each other more and knew how to treat certain things...that's the most important thing, isn't it? That's the main reason why we were there together, to bond, isn't it? And we met our goal.
Well, file checks for math tuition next Sunday...what can get worse...I hope I can still find the worksheets. Sheesh.
Wrote a fanfic on KaitouXShinichi for TIFFY!!! XD She wanted a certain plotline and since there aren't such stories online, I decided to make one for her, even if it's not that popular and reviewed. Hmm you see, people tend to like Shinichi hurt more, but my story's gonna be the other way round. Haha maybe a combination of both in the end, but don't worry, they won't die.
ONIGIRI DRANK FROM THE BOTTLE!!! I didn't see it, but the waterlevel had a visible drop. Really. Ahhhhh I'm so relieved...but since she likes grapes, I suppose I'll still chuck a few at her occasionally. Hammies do like treats.
I'd better complete my Jap E-learning by tonight...the deadline...Haiz. Oh well...
Okay I'd better get going. Wanna do something else...Bye guys!
P.S: Dad's bringing back a Hawaiian guitar! Well he's on a conference, said he wanted to buy me one. WOOOHOOO I love guitars, suppose I can ask Jia Hui to teach me some basics. If not I'd try and figure it out or just play as my heart goes. XD Don't worry, I'm not trying to be August Rush. Because if I am, the guitar will fall apart and the whole block of residents will start hammering on my door...brrrrrek bad idea. Cya then.***~~~*The Winds struck at 7.22am*~~~
Friday, July 11, 2008
Hey guys...back again as usual. I don't think I can write much today cuz it's already around 11 o'clock, and I'll have to wake up a lil earlier tomorrow to start of on English summary...-.- Which means alarm clocks. I've gotten sick of them already.
Today's Friday but it was only nice and relieving when I was in school. I don't know why...once I came home, I felt terribly lonely. Dad's flying to America tonight for a conference and he'll be back by next Saturday...I feel so terrible and emo. Though I know I shouldn't be feeling so...wait...there're isn't such a thing as "you SHOULDN'T be feeling so" cuz feelings have their own natures. They reflect their own personalities. That's what I hate about society sometimes...they think it's easy to control your own emotions that well.
Or perhaps they're the ones who wanna gain control.
It was lonely. Haiz...when I stuck in the key I just felt this bout of despair rolling over...like there's nobody at home and I'm left alone to wait. Again. Just that this time it was a lil better due to Onigiri, Dango and Omusu's presence...sometimes I do realise that I've started to treasure my hamsters as the only family members I could really get along well with. It's sad at times but...-.-
And the first thing mom did when she came home, at around 9 something pm, was to scold me because I left a few bags on the floor, I didn't help them wash the dishes, I didn't do anything. She was in a terrible mood because Dad only got to know that he had to go for conference tonight in the evening, so she released her anger upon me. It was RIDICULOUS. I didn't even say anything and I was expecting at least a "Hi" after so many hours waiting for her...and she scolded me. For no reason at all.
Perhaps that's what it's like to be an Indigo. We have terribly hard childhoods an teenage years...I've come to see that it's true. I feel hopeless. Yesterday I kinda cried in bed again at night due to frustration. I don't know how it came about...I was just visualizing a few scenes in Spirited Away and emptiness crashed forth when I berated reality for why such things never happened. If you look around, you don't see such friendship anywhere. Any time. None at all.
Nobody's really always there for you like inscribed in the dreams of writers and artists, because right now the world has evolved so much it's impossible to start a simple plain friendship that will last forever. Many only care for themselves, and fail to empathize with others' feelings when they're in need.
The worst thing comes when these happen on a daily basis and we're forced to hide it...for adults' sake. For our parents. For people who believe that emotions are to be fully controlled and no matter what, we're supposed to like whatever we do. Hating our lives appeared to be childish in this society. However, that's happening to me right now.
It was terrible yesterday. I just felt EMPTY. HOLLOW. You've seen these two words a lot of times before but the prob is, you'll keep seeing it till it goes away. I don't think it ever will -.- as it leaves too deep a marking. Thinking of the years I've left in this world, and thinking that I'd have to endure many things I totally suck at through all these long dark years, made me yearn for ascension to come earlier even more. I just wanted people to realize, to break out from their own little 3rd dimensional world, to be aware of more that's happening around them.
I only managed to calm down and get comfort after I've visualized my world again...talked to Emvelain, to sis, to bro. They were real nice...we were sitting in this mountain cave and outside there was rain and all that...it was like a storm. And we were huddled there, in the heights, and if you looked down you could see that flattened field of damp yellowish grass in the rain which I'd used to stand in and listen to music dancing in the wind. There was the wind too. We did feel like a small warm family...the four of us, plus the wind which felt like...seriously, it felt like both a guardian AND a cute little pet! ^^
Like what bro said, I see to that that pioneering isn't easy. At ALL. We're uncertain of our future, where we should head and go for, what are the right times to take action. We know we have something at hand and we're always the truth-seekers, seekers of something beyond common knowledge which we ourselves are not fully conscious of.
I still wonder how I should try and raise the earth's vibrational energies for the ascension. So far I've been trying visualization, and trying tapping into wider consciousness which might be a pretty hard thing to get as things may be illusions. I've also been trying to access the light dimension more frequently these days, and the crown chakra pressure also comes along very often. As what they said, pressure at the crown chakra only means the pineal gland absorbing more light. It came to me naturally and more frequently. Could this be for the ascension? Who knows.
Okay, out from the spiritual pool, we're in to real life now. Today Japanese was fun. I managed to dump the file into the pile today for file-check before , and besides in the lesson Ang Sensei called me twice to answer questions. I think I've gotten over the "Zera-san" problem now and I'm pretty back to normal. Haha yeah as I said, I'm still a little aware of my opponents' progress though.
Azzy says that this may be because of the way my parents brought me up. That I'm so competitive in things and I hate to lose out, and fall from positions I once used to uphold. She says that despite my mask, she's been thinking that such environments must have had some impact on me...as in, I shouldn't have seemed so normal and happy like any other kid. Well...the truth is, I hide everything. I carry them in an intricate fragile pouch, and only break it when I'm alone. I'd cry my heart out then.
And the reason why I'm competitive is not only because of my parents. It is because Jap is so far the ONLY thing I'm good at academically, besides Chinese and perhaps literature. The society doesn't recognize anything besides acadmics and education, and gosh darnit even arts!!! They only recognize you after you've won one of those STUPID AWARDS they've flagged arts with! It's stupid, you know. These people, who claim that they have - what? Master art degree??? They don't even understand that art is not something to use to compete. You don't do ART COMPETITIONS. Art is an EXPRESSION. Idiots.
I've worked hard for it, I don't wanna lose it in one go. That's who I am.
Went for trainfire yesterday at the NCC Campus. REAL COOL AND FUUUUUUNNNN man!!!! Damn cool. XD We got to hold and do some stuff using F16 rifles, which are pretty heavy for us (sergeants used this as a reason for MORE PTs noooooo) and caused our arms to tremble non-stop even after we've set them down. I had to time for the platoon because suddenly they called for a timer change and nobody was responding, so my voice just came out and I started timing. Lol. Interesting...how my courage shows itself sometimes.
We learnt shooting and aiming positions, stripping and reassembling a rifle, some simple arms drill and all that...real fun though our arms hurt. Oh and Julie and Ee Wen made a confession! That even though not all part Cs love us, THEY DO!!! Omg I wanted to cry lol. So moved. Awwwww..........well, I've got a very bad feeling that they've been thinking, from what I've observed (their speech, their eyes, their expressions), that we hate them along with the CCA. It's wrong though. I do love them as our seniors. They're really...really really nice. ^^
Today for Chinese lesson, the teacher got HAPPY with my writing!!! I didn't expect that though. Denise guessed I'd write about wind because she thinks it's my element (somebody in my dream also told me that mine was wind) and in the end...I did choose to write about wind instead of the sea. I found it easier to write about something you've had lots of contact with...especially since it exists all around in my world it feels as though it's in me.
Anyway today going back home...Tiffy rode on my bike for this certain length of a road and she was paddling damn fast, and I ran along trying to stabilize her on her bike and yeah...we fell lol. Hit my leg. But yeah, it's okay...not hurting anymore. IT'S OKAY TIFFY!!! DAIJYOUBU DESU!
Tomorrow going to watch Raffles Ringers concert in the KS Chee with Jia Hui tomorrow. XD Can't wait.
Okay, it's late, I've gotta go...cya guys. Nightie! Sweet dreams and take care. Same goes for Bro on the other side of the world! XD***~~~*The Winds struck at 11.29pm*~~~
Thanks to all the blogs the designer referred to (countless) for html code help :) (esp. cyn' and sixseven)
Adobe Photoshop Elements for supernatural abilities
