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Thursday, August 28, 2008
Ahhhhhh man...Today's...relatively...ok.
Wrote a poem titled "A Child of Dreams".
Here goes.A Child of Dreams***You're a child,So innocent and happyFull of surprise and looking towards life.***And there came the dreamsTo hold your hand throughAnd nothin' mattered but your dreams.***You've believed that dreams were here,Always alongside you.***Years have passed and you're a teen,So credible and trusting,Full of cautiousness and reticence ahead.***And there came the dreamsTo kindle hope in you,But you no longer had time for dreams.***You've believed that dreams were possible,But so faraway and distant.***Handling the office, you're a man,So suspecting and careful,Full of wariness in everything you do.***And there came the dreams,To provide you warmth,But you began to forget their presence.***You've believed that dreams were just dreams,An unreadable taunt of life.***Now you sit in the yard, a wise old man,So experienced yet so lonelyEmpty of strength to plan your last fend.***And there you've wentSearching for your dreamsTo return to that long-lost imaginary world.***You've believed that dreams were still out thereAlways awaiting your return.***But no, they're not.Not anymore.************************ Haiz...some emo poem, eh? Anyway Denise said that the ending, the "not anymore" part, was exactly the same as the "Crashing Dreams" poem she wrote and didn't want me to use it. In the end, sorry Denise but I just have to say, I still used "not anymore" as the ending. It is my own free choice to use such an ending, such two words to bring my poem to its final slumber. I didn't lift it out of your poem, and I never violated your copyrights if you had them. Expression is free. Like what Azzy says, nobody should change a poet's thoughts and it's just wrong to do so. We can't control others' minds anyway. Silent Sentinel***The sentinel staresCold and aloofAs though he could see throughEverything I'd concealed.***And slowly, cautiously, I peep past the barsCaked with rust of old age,Filled with the ire to challengeAll that he had in hold.***The wind was forlorn, slithering aroundAs I dragged my shoes through the snow.Every inch in count and detailedWithin the tenseness of my heart.***I looked into his eyes,They were blank but imposing,And cringing, I swallowedIn the hostility of his reserved character. ***Now slowly I edgedPast the fume of his aura,A shiver melting down my nervesLike ice in a fire.***I passed him.He said nothing,But merely gazed after meA hint of frustration in his eyes.***And I realizedIn the broken chain of wordsThat he had failed to speak - or ratherHe couldn't.***And smiling, I knew I had won my rights.******************* Okay anyway tomorrow I'm gonna go back to Nan Hua! Oh and today I played Eltheron in audi it was so damn fun ppl thought I was a noob but got surprised when I kept winning. XD So fun. Played balloon volleyball today. 107 was sooooo nice, we had a great time playing the balloon thing! Spent the whole lunch doing so. Had class party for both Mrs J and Mrs Chia too. XD REMINDS ME OF TIMES BACK IN 6G 07!!! ^^ Awwwww........night, cya! ***~~~*The Winds struck at 10.13pm*~~~
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
I feel as though my heart has just died.
Today Mrs Chia said that there was only one failure in the class and that she was very disappointed, since I suppose it must've pulled down the entire class average. It's terrible. I know I've always been the last, at the bottom of the class, for math. And that means that if there's only one failure, it's got to be me.
At least 99.9%.
And Mrs Chia was saying to the class, "I will hold your hand and prevent you from drowning when you're going to, but you have to remember to flap your own wings so that you can remain above the water surface when I let go of you, and so you won't drown."
I feel as though I've already drowned and there's nobody holding my hand.
Nobody.
And what can I do, if my feathers are already soaked to the tips and my wings are as heavy as lead?
All the expectations of this society, the boundaries, the limitations, the barriers preventing you from flying higher than the sky.
Is that all we live for?
Since the start of this year, turmoils have taught me enough to understand that there is nothing you will get from depending upon others, even if you feel as though you're gonna collapse any moment under everything; all your own dreams and expectations shattering into smithereens in the sky and streaking through the blackness like meteors ceasing to last.
What will you do then? Pick up all the fallen pieces and weep over their pointless deaths, for you can't ever throw them back into heavens' embrace again? Hurl them off a cliff into the winds, in a vain hope that someone else at the other end of the world will receive them and achieve your dreams? Or will you stab the shards through your own wrist, watching as life drains out of you from a killer you've originally admired and aspired to reach?
We've all started out from innocence, all eager and enthusiastic and full of surprise. Idealism wasn't idealism; it was logical, it was possible, it was achievable. But as time rolls by, everything fogs up, our paths are shrouded and got more and more hilly through their shadowed windings. So then the so-called leaders of perfection step up into reality, enforces whatever he or she thinks is right and implies it upon others as a law ought to be followed.
And we've blindly clambered along behind their footsteps, passing the tradition further and further down the generations. In these long arduous periods of fear and hopelessness, we cling onto any light, any leader, who could show us the way through.
That explains things. Our sense of being lost, our sense of insecurity and fear of exceeding boundaries for our own rights, has deprived us of our ability to dream.
In societies of altered human nature, reeking with the foul stench of selfish greed and ignorance, there is nothing you can do but to have silence forced upon your voice in a well-concealed confinement. Everybody has a prison in their hearts; they would enter the realm of these rusty bars when their minds no longer function rationally under everything flung at them, one after another.
Perhaps we've all hoped that the bars of our inner prisons would protect us from all the external blows striking on a constant basis. We will never open up, too scared to step beyond the pathetic protection of our prison gates and bludgeon the lurking invaders of freedom back into their origins. There isn't anything anybody will say in their respective reticence of life.
Nvrm. I guess I'll take a break from here, just too sick of sprouting all my views when I know they will never be heard or anything.
It's not like I've expected them to be accepted at all.Here's a poem I wrote to express some of my inner thoughts. Pretty random sequence, but yeah...........................................................An Empty Bottle of the World***An empty bottle of the worldLonely in cool vastness,Fathomless silence, torturous painsTo have finally escaped.***Into the air beyondThe skies a plume of blue,Twas melted into windsAnd carried forth the lunes.***Lanterns red at twilight,The bells a fading twinkle.Nothin' heard beyond the the seasOf lapping grace, genteel.***A moon now so shadowedWith smokes of graying life,To come and walk towards death one day,Who shalt weep thine sorrow?***An empty bottle of the world,One of all closed doors,To be opened at the lastOf existence, thy saw.***Theone shalt fear not all of loss,Fear the wisdom of courage.For not long shalt thee stand to seeIts traces in all flaws.***The day on which Truth was born,Twas hand in hand with FaithFor Truth knew not what she heard,Truth knew what she saw.***An empty bottle of the world,Frosted and so oldTucked away in its reticence,Slumbering in the mould.*******************Okay anyway I'll find some time to talk to you about my dream about my younger brother. Parents forcing me to sleep soon.Leveled Erawind to lvl 6 in audi today, managed to challenge the license and get done with it. Sewing was terrible, relatively, cuz I had to take out all the beads and redo since I've sewn both sides together accidentally. In the end I still managed to catch up pretty fast though, with lots of work on the sewing machine.Oh well, night. Cya ppl, going back to Nan Hua on Friday. Can't wait.***~~~*The Winds struck at 10.19pm*~~~
Monday, August 25, 2008
Haiz...dammit. When I finally managed to play audition, my dad came home and he began spouting all those nonsense about kids getting over-indulged in games and dying in-front of the com and jumping down the buildings or all that crap. DAMMIT. And he claims he got headache. He does all that crap just to get me down from the com. WHAT THE CRAP.
Come ON!!! It's AFTER EXAM, can't I just play a lil??????????
They'll never understand. They'll never understand that I'M NOT their obedient daughter, I'm NOT an idiotic bookworm who excels in everything. I'm NOT able to survive without play. I'm NOT able to survive in this stupid undiscerning society who cares nothing more than competition.
I'm ME. I'm MYSELF. I'm my OWN PERSONALITY. Dammit.
Nevermind.
Anyway I wonder about my group's gym chreography. What am I gonna like...do? The whole rehearsal went down the drain, and somehow subconsciously, I seemed to take responsibility of them and I'm like "what the hell"...There wasn't any leader appointed, but why am I like the one trying to pull things together? Thanks to being the choreographer from the start. =.= In the end only left half of the group left, and the choreography was kinda in a mess. Haiz...Mrs Jay, just don't kill me.
Math exam sucks today. It wasn't good, wasn't the worst exam I've had, but still...haiz. I think I'm gonna fail. Left one question blank after trying sooooooo many times to do it. I just don't get the HANG of Algebra, dammit!
Ah sheesh.
Anyway my dad had a terrible fever of 40 degrees celsius since Saturday, but he's basically recovered. I tried healing with the light spectrum hypothesis I've just came up about wavelengths and frequencies according to the light colour, but I'm not sure if it worked cuz this time it was particularly energy-draining and took a relatively longer time to work (by the end of the day). Also, I was "handicapped" in healing him cuz it's hard to find a reason to get into contact and channel the energy through; after all, he might just think I'm being some idiotic idiot.
This Friday is Teacher's Day. I think I'll get a towel cake for Ang Sensei, and maybe draw a card, together with a poem I wrote, for Mrs Tan. I think I'll get something else for Xie Lao Shi, still thinking.
Azzy finished her fanfic. She nids to wait 2 more days to publish. XD Gambatte Kudasai!!!
Okay, I'm pretty tired now, cya people. Wish me good luck with my gym thingy, cya night!***~~~*The Winds struck at 7.56pm*~~~
Thursday, August 21, 2008
I don't care anymore. I'm in a terrible mood. You know what??? Lit PT! They said that we're supposed to come up with poems from at least 3 BOOKS which means we can't search everything up from the internet! What the hell!!! I've already done almost all my PT stuff!!! I CAN'T CHANGE THE POEMS! Dammit!
Don't care. I'll fail it. Who cares.*Back after 1.5h*
Okay, I've basically at finishing point for the stupid lit PT, just left the annotation to do. Patched up some crappy pictures all around the documents. But hey, honestly, I like my cover page design. XD It's like overlapping photographs.
Anyway Cheese is dashing through her work now, no nid to disturb her I guess. Won't be evil. XD
Firstly I'll upload another picture I did on photoshop, it's called "Balance". Basically a bunch of white mist and some maple leaves around. And a bit of water background, but perhaps I covered up that part.
Okay basically today was fine, I wrote another poem after I've finished the English compre work during class; apparently some others haven't finished yet so I got some free time inbetween. Here's the poem, haven't finished yet though. It's titled "Grandeur Reminiscent".Grandeur ReminiscentIn the old ancient courtyard, the chair stood to seeSoft fogs rolling 'cross memories which livedSo long ago, behold the mysteries unfoldAs it creaked in the moonlight, and rocked in the winds.It was hundreds ago that the Sun was bright,Once forthcoming with passion to win the lone fights.How the warriors' table, gilded with grandeur,Had last echoed through its triumphant heights. Basically so far that's it...haven't finished the rest of the poem. Denise's poem got recognised by the lit teacher today, grats to her. Haiz... I think I've swerved back to writing about the olden war times. I just don't get the hang of why I love warriors so much. Anyway physics today was humorous. Azzy and I, of course, sat at the back again. And after the wonderful light experiment we did with mirrors...Mr Singh had to write some stuff on the board and we couldn't read it cuz it was too small and we're too far away. Azzy: I think "majeunate" means to become bigger. Me: No actually it's "magnified" that he's writing. Azzy: (amused) OHHHHH sou desu ka....... *5 minutes later* Me: Er...the "real image" thingy...Real images can be...WHAT on the screen? Azzy: Dunno leh. Me: Something that starts with F that he's writing... Azzy: "Fired" on the screen? Me: What the hell. *End* Yay!!! Haha that was funny. I dun care if u find it funny or not. I find it funny, that's it. Case closed. o.O Detective Conan Case Closed. There is one and only one truth: This IS funny and that's it!!! Lol. Okay, I'm high. NOOOOOOOOOO Math exam next Monday. In fact...Geog, History, Math examS next Monday. WHAT THE HELLLL....................................... Drones. Okay, cya, I gtg exercise or something. Dancing to Audition Music IS nice. XD ***~~~*The Winds struck at 6.43pm*~~~
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Got this from a fren.
1) Do you believe that love is forever?
- I'm not one of those goofs gaping after big shining moons.
2) Do you get hurt by people easily?
- I'm made of this unbreakable material called "me".
3) Do you believe that all people are generally good?
- No
4) Do you mean people make you sad?
- No
5) Does ice-cream make you happy?
- I hate ice-creams.
6) Do you sing in the shower?
- Yeah. I've got free concerts every night.
7) When it rains, do you like to splash in puddles?
- Give me a time machine and I'll show you how I splash
8) If you see a cute guy/girl walk down the street, do you smile and tell him/her that he/she is cute?
- Yo guy, you're cu- forget it.
9) Do you notice when people have beautiful eyes?
- Yeah. When they think I'm trying to hypnotize them.
10) Have you ever cried when watching a movie?
- I'm sure I don't have tear constipation.
11) Is it cute when old people are holding hands?
- You make them sound as though they're sucking on milkbottles.
12) Are you a happy person?
- Ask RGS to get the model answer.
13) Do you tend not to worry even when you know something bad is about to happen?
- Speaking of retards happily introducing their own graves then hoppin' into it...
14) Is it fine to cut the barbie's hair?
- Ask the barbie what type of hairstyle she wants.
15) Have you ever laughed so much that your stomach hurts?
- I've laughed so much that my stomach went cold.
16) Are you slightly crazy?
- Yeah. At least to the extent of faithfully answering your questionnaire.
17) Do you like to drive with the windows down?
- Thanks for the inspiration. Maybe I should get one of my story character's hand chopped off.
18) Are you in love?
- Ah hah, good try. Whoosh there goes your questionnaire down the drain. Tata!!!
No training today, that's why the early blogging...
Emo-ing once more. That's why I felt like writing out my feelings here, can't really stand this emptiness for any longer (at least for now). The whole of CLE lesson today didn't really help either; talking about pity, sympathy, empathy and all the likes of it. I should say...it's fun but...not the way I'd liked.
Honestly, they didn't fully understand empathy. It's not just about putting yourself into others' shoes; in empathy, we make use of others' feelings to understand them more, so as to come up with appropriate approaches to deal with these people. We visualize the whole scene in our minds with no preset opinions or feelings, and wipe clean ourselves of all surrounding influences. We can also look from a third person point of view to see who is right or who is wrong, and incorporate this into our daily life problems. The main thing about empathy is clearing your own thought and emotional barriers to activate a full different perspective.
And for advancers, as we get to understand more and more people, we search for distinct patterns in the behaviors and reflect on ourselves to decide how and what is the best approach to society.
This is empathy, and I shouldn't say it's the full definition of empathy yet. To know something to its fullest, it will be something that is terrifically hard to put into words. At the deepest recognition of a certain subject, meanings come in the form of inspirations and feeling. There wouldn't be the word or thought to sentence it in full; it is a form of realization, an awakening, or rather...an enlightenment. Its secrets are yet to be uncovered beyond what human language can service.
Now for today's sewing, I finished the apron and started on the pouch already. My design's supposed to be a leaf, made with green, white, light blue and beads of some other light colours. It was a little hard to hand-sew it cuz the threads kept tangling up, since I used too great a length, and the strings kept snapping. After that it's just so hard to tie a knot directly there to prevent the beads from coming all out. What the hell................
Did Oral yesterday. Chinese oral. Wasn't as bad as I'd thought, but it's still not as good as my mom would've wanted it to be. The teacher asked me about blogging...yeah right...blogging...whether it's good or bad, how should we prevent cyber bullying on blogs blah blah...she gave me all the hard questions together with Min Yi.
And Jap test was relatively good. Not that hard, but a lil tricky in certain ways maybe.
Haiz...the reason for my sudden emoing is because just now I was visulizing my inner world, and suddenly things seemed to merge. For a moment my world seemed to be really existent; I really felt its presence somewhere distant and faraway, yet so near to my life right now. It's like it's nearing with every step, and I'm regaining my own memories of having lived in that wonderful place. It's as though it really existed! It's like...I got excited, like I'm gonna go to my world pretty soon!
But after that the feeling dissolved into thin air and my heart died.
I just hope that happens in ascension. If only that does happen for now. It's weird; even now I'm feeling as though my world is here already. I don't know why. It's lke I'm preparing to go there.
I DON'T KNOW WHY.
Anyway today morning I saw another spirit in the school corridor, just beside the bus stop. He vanished fast like others, but slow enough for me to look at him clearer this time. But this spirit is a lil more translucent than others. As in like...he's kind of a little...blended into the surroundings but his outlines are clear and distinct. He's kinda aged around...a lil younger than 30 years. Wearing blue office shirt, and I didn't see what trousers he were wearing. He had black hair and didn't wear specs.
And I took a psychic clairvoyance test online the day before yesterday, and I had to look at photographs with women in them and basically respond about their family backgrounds. I wasn't particularly accurate, but for one picture I was. Pretty much. Well...I was looking at her and I had a first thought of her age as 31 years, and her job was in an office and had got something to do with books. It turned out that she IS 31 years old and she was an editor. Omg...haha.
The trick of it, I realized, is to trust your intuitions and to learn how to differentiate true intuition from self-influenced guessing.
Oh yeah bfore I go, bro had been secretly accessing his MSN on the laptop during a lecture over at his side. Haha...funny anecdotes in a lecture room. I could really feel the tension mounting at his place and he said that the prof was on look-outs. Haha XD that was so fun.***
~~~*The Winds struck at 3.38pm*~~~
Monday, August 18, 2008
Before I nid to do my lit PT, I've gotta say...just now when I was on my way home from the hairdresser's...I passed this playground and caught another view (full in the eye) of a small kid hiding behind one of the pillars at the area. He was a boy, dressed in striped shirt of blue, green and white, and he was wearing a pair of light-coloured trousers (can't remember was it light brown or white...). Anyways he was just standing there alone, looking at the rest of the kids play and the adults. And after I passed a little further, looking back, I don't see him anywhere in the playground anymore.
Creepy. I don't know anything about why I've begun seeing them these days, could it be in Ghost Fes? Oh well. Anyway I'm not scared of them or anything. It's just weird and a little alienated that you see different things from others. But seriously, it's not scary. You just acknowledge their existence subconsciously when you see them, then get on with your own stuff. You don't need to bother too much about them. They can't approach you always once you let them know you aren't taking the path of a medium or something. You're just seeing them for one thing; not like you can do anything so far to really help them. Unless they really need help, they'll come over to let you know instead of leave you to play guessing games.***~~~*The Winds struck at 9.13pm*~~~
HOORAAAAYYYY to Singapore for winning the FIRST OLYMPIC SILVER MEDAL in 48 years for Table Tennis!!! Hail the valiant warriors!!! Go Tian Wei, Jia Wei AND Yue Gu!!! XD
Really, grats girls. You people did GREAT.
Okies, pulling apart from all the festive atmosphere...I'm gonna start on something that happened again 2 days ago on Saturday. We had dinner at Hokkaido Japanese restaurant, it's a buffet, and at around 9 o'clock in the night we were sitting at the benches waiting for the bus to come. It was pretty deserted, we had like...1 family sitting on the bench beside us too. I was sitting in the middle, between my parents.
And when I was looking down, I saw from the corner of my eyes, at intervals, 3 glimpses of a young lady sitting about 2 seats away from my mom (to my right). At the 3rd glimpse I whirled around to look at her, but she wasn't there. It's like...she just vanished. The lady looked as though she was in her early 20s, had short shoulder-length black hair, wore long-sleeve white shirt and dark coloured trousers (either black or navy). She was just sitting there with her head drooping down, and I couldn't see her eyes cuz they were covered by her hair. She looks kinda sad or someting.
They say it's easier to see ghosts from the corner of your eyes. It could be that these spirits carry aura and the aura build-up is more visible when your field of vision isn't entirely focused on it.
Weird. Mom tried to deny the possibility that I saw a ghost, and she was like "there were people sitting beside us just now but they left". And I was like "what gender" and she said they were both male. Then I was like "I saw a female and she disappeared immediately after I saw her". Well, you can't totally push away the probable assumption, right?
Oh yeah and in the taxi mom was like "I'm sure I saw humans".
And I said, "And they disappeared?"
Then my dad laughed like hell. XD
Found out that I was doing metaphysics. o.O Quite a lot, and I love it.
Broke the bathroom mirror yesterday. -.- It happened to tumble down from the wall while I accidentally pushed something, the mop, which prodded underneath the whole mirror and sent it crashing to the ground. 7 years of bad luck? Or 10? Nah, I'm not superstitious in such a way.
Okay...didn't bring Math revision worksheet to school today. JUST MY LUCK. I spent so much time rushing through it yesterday!!! ><>
Haiz...school is a labyrinth of dodging.
Tomorrow Chinese oral. Darn.
Anyway...yesterday after art lesson, Endro picked up a black feather which looked pretty much like a quill. It was wonderfully shaped and perfect. Then a few steps forward, I happened to look back and noticed a pure white feather, the same shape and size as Endro's, lying under the boot of a car. I picked it up and compared it with Endro's feather. Omg...they looked so similar. Lightworkers and darkworkers? Any sign hm?
Ok. Let it go natural. If things are meant to be conveyed easily, we shouldn't be driven into a series of metaphysics and all that to just interpret signs, dubiously somemore, right?
Today's physics was interesting. We did camera exeriments on light, and everything was reflected on a piece of tracing paper behind the cardboard. We learnt about eclipses too.
And Mr Singh said something about um...red light and blue light. The wavelengths of red is longer than that of blue. So if I link it back to vibrational frenquencies of human chakras, if cells and energies do function primarily on light, could it have got something to do with the health and mental processes of beings?
Not just human beings...all beings. Cuz red is the colour of the physical / root chakra, and blue is the colour of the throat chakra. In life energies, blue is higher than the red. So it could be that blue's shorter wavelengths inbetween could have a linkage to it's higher and faster vibrational frequency, right? And red's longer wavelengths would just mean that it has a slower and lower vibrational frequency.
So if I find out the wavelenghts of all the light frequencies in the spectrum, perhaps it will enable me to find out more about working with light. Including Indigo colour frequencies, so I can better understand about my own frequency. Besides, what about secondary colours such as Cyan and Magenta? If we combine them with our current frequencies, what may happen? What is the vibrational frequencies and wavelengths of Cyan, Magenta and other secondary colours?
And if I combine blue light with red light in healing, will that enhance the vibrational frequency of the patient's health grids? Colour therapy wit wavelength decrease, probably?
Okies, I gtg. No homework today, so nidta do lit PT and maybe prepare some bit for Chinese oral. Can't afford to die in-front of the teacher. -.- It sucks when people have too high expectations on you. Pressure!!!!
Cya people. Too early to say night but...night.***~~~*The Winds struck at 4.26pm*~~~
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Had Physics SPA today. Wasn't that bad, I overestimated it a tad too much. The only one with a higher difficulty level is question 2b, in which we're supposed to find the diameter of a ball without using the vernier calliper; we can only use 2 wooden blocks, 2 set-squares and 2 rulers. Haiz...at first I didn't get how to do it, but in the end I took the vernier calliper principle and yeah...
I'm damn insulted in Math today. It's as though I've just been thrown down a deep dark well full of frosty winter water. I spent 2 hours working on a math worksheet and in the end I didn't even get a MARK! You know, a MARK, like a GRADE. The only words the teacher wrote were "See me. Redo. P". Hell she didn't even bother to write "presentation" out in full!
I mean, I don't CARE if she gives me a fail grade. 0 or ANYTHING. I just want a grade, no matter how bad it is, to at least KNOW that my effort has been acknowledged. Seriously...this is a gigantic blow to my own self confidence. That worksheet is the only math one I've spent that much time on, and I've been calculating over and over, squeezing all my brainjuice, thinking of every possible logic I can think up.
But in the end nothing happens. Where on earth did all my efforts go??? Down the drain? Beyond the universe? Into vacuum and inexistence??? What the HELL???!!!
It's not that I DON'T WANT TO PUT IN EFFORT. It's because I don't know WHEN MY EFFORTS WILL EVER BUD. Darn! It's so easy for others to say "get 4.0 for math. Improve!!!" but how the HECK am I supposed to do that, and in such a short timespan too? Dammit. DAMN DAMN DAMN. I feel so...insulted.
That's the worst insult I've ever gotten in my life so far. I don't care about all those unpleasant names my mom has addressed me with; whateva dog or something. I DON'T CARE!!! Because it's got nothing much to do with me. I don't put in effort to stop her from doing these stuff anyway, cuz I've tried and now I don't bother anymore. They won't even listen, like I'm some annoying fly buzzing around their ears. Amendment: Not even being in the position to buzz around their ears.
ALL I care about, if you talk about dignity in this stupid society and education system, is to be ACKNOWLEDGED of whateva stupid efforts I had put in. I can neglect all of your views, think that I'm stupid, that I'm hopeless in Math, but I've PUT IN EFFORT and I WANT it to be accepted. Whatever way you want. I don't care what the heck you wanna do.
HELL just don't give me a who-cares-about-your-stuff kind of remark!!!
Haiz...agitation. Darn.
Anyway no Chinese oral today, taking next week. Ain't that happy?
BeyondxHatred accepted my invitation to be my C2 community staff. I'm glad he/she accepted, which means we can be fellow writer friends. Oh and I signed up for Beta Reader on fanfiction.net, hope it works. Will ask Denise for some advice.
No time now, nid to do Japanese sakubun corrections and homework...I guess I'll cya then. Bye. Night.***~~~*The Winds struck at 8.15pm*~~~
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Caught a very brief glimpse of a spirit yesterday, at the lift landing under my friend's house at about 9pm. An old Chinese man, black eyes, nearly bald, looking at the 4 of us (my frens and I) but when i looked at him he disappeared very quickly. It was little blur cuz I was swinging around to look at him, but I did manage to see the face, not the rest of the body though...
I didn't feel like connecting with him anyway. Didn't creep out though, he's just the observing type I guess. But my reaction was seriously...unexpected on my side. I thought I'd scream when I see a ghost but I was kinda indifferent.
He didn't feel like the type who needs help; afterall,he felt as though he was like "see then see, who cares" or rather "oops, she saw me". =.= Not one of those desperate spirits who're trying to communicate with the world.
Besides, he didn't seem very friendly. His energy felt like one of those...er...typical Singaporean senior citizens who like to...o.O dunno. Argue a lot over trivial things? Nah not all senior citizens are like that. Just some.
I guess I'll just let him be.
Anyway I saw a terribly creepy cat yesterday too, at the top few levels of the carpark near my fren's house. It had a line of dried blood caking the space between it's left eye and the nose, and kept meowing with every step. The way it looked at us was...weird, too. It carried that kind of pleading, yet it's not just some animal pleading like "I'm hungry, feed me".
It was more of...I dunno. More of craving for help from something dangerous. I just had a feeling as though it was pretty vulnerable against a certain dark entity, and trying to let us know about it. Followed us practically everywhere. It looked kinda possessed.
Shhh...something happened during art lesson so Endro and I had a bit more free time to wander around. It rained somewhere inbetween, so we spent some time reading the "Indigo Children" book that she borrowed from the library. Interesting, just that it kept talking about education for Indigos. Haiz...
Created an Indigo blog, admined by both Endro and I. Link: http://www.indigoelementors.blogspot.com/
Oh well.
Nothing much to say though. Just that Chen Yun and I were practising psi manipulation downstairs. XD Felt lots of static. I think metal is a pretty good conductor of psi energy, since when Chen Yun touches anything metal, I feel it on my side too. I mean static electricity. Like...mild shocks. o.O Weird, I know.
I made another hypothesis today. Chen Yun and I were discussing about how cameras may be capable of capturing images of things we can't see; spirits, energy traces, auras...So I recalled something I read yesterday in a chinese book about science.
I can't remember the whole process, but the methods of photograph "washing" involved X-rays and atoms or something. So basically I'm thinking...if spirits were energy imprints, could they be consisted of a different type of energy and light ray, including the X-ray? If this is true, that may explain why they're captured on cameras.
Now I think I'm gonna start searching up stuff on atoms and quantum physics. Quantum theories are basically the root of many sciences and parapsychology. Knowing more about atoms and molecules etc may help me in my "research" on parapsychological and spiritual things.
Okay...lit PT...*sob* Haiz...stupid school stuff. And my parents took my laptop out to the living room cuz they're worried about me playing com or something. Now no more freedom -.- haiz. I don't expect them to even know that the internet is my only outlet of emotions now. T.T
Well I can't blame them. It's not really their fault for not understanding anyway. =.=
Cya...night...bye...........***~~~*The Winds struck at 8.34pm*~~~
Friday, August 8, 2008
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YA!!!!
Sorry for the dramatic outburst. XD But I do love Singapore at times like this. Today's celebration in RGS was relatively great; I could really sense the spirit amongst all the blood-boiling cheers that reverbrated throughout the school grounds. It was wonderful. And 2 days ago, I met Michael on Tagged and yahoo messenger. He's also an artist, good in music and arts, and we shared our thoughts on art and spirituality and music...omg it was the best chat ever. There were many things both of us understood altogether. Perhaps birds of the same kind DO flock together... Anyway, today's my most productive day in Photoshop. I came up with many many many pictures, the first time ever. It's like a chain inspiration, interlinked; after I've finished one picture, the outcome would inspire me to do another. And it continues on and on...I'm feeling really high. It's the first time I've found such a fond outlet of emotions and all thoughts.1. Last Flight at Sundown 
2. Enquiry 
3. Mystery Dance
4. Breathing Warmth
5. Freedom Fruit
6. Realm of Stillness
7. Interdivision
8. Digital Forest 
9. Dance of the Midnight Spirits 
10. Dreamscape Mountain 
11. Peeping Unkowns 
12. Only With Love 
Whew! I love it when I can create. Okies, gtg do my lit PT...or watch Bei Jing Olympic Opening Ceremony or something. -.- It's kinda boring but I should say the effects were good, and it was an efficient showcase of China's history. Not that I'd be particularly impressed when I was about to sleep. -.- Emcees blabbering English when all else is supposed to be in Chinese. Haiz... Cya, night, bye...take care ppl. Exams next week. CHINESE ORAL!!!!!! Darn.***~~~*The Winds struck at 9.46pm*~~~
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Bought a red-white dress yesterday for National Day...gonna use it for all my years throughout, every national day. XD
Not much things to say, just that I did MORE photoshop pictures!!! Yay! I do love this set. Downloaded LOTS of new brushes. I'm so happy with the photoshop features, they really work magic. ^^
1. Lost in Emptiness
Description: Shows a snowman in the middle of an endless field of snow, looking at a pale sky which has no sign of the light of hope. He knows where he should go, yet he is lost in this vast realm of frost and loneliness. He is a loner, all by himself, alone with his thoughts. Feels lonely and hollow, kinda emo too. That's my first attempt at "loneliness-themed" pics. Haiz...photoshop, I love ya.
2. Graying Realms
Description: A rough idea of what my inner world looks like, just that this is not the colourful part of my world. The one I've made so far is the part of my world where everything's light, and things appear in the form of shadows. There're lots of wind, that should explain why all those flying blades of grass. XD
3. Determination of Flames
Description: Looks like a bonfire, yet it's pretty much abstract. I should say it's more of a...overflowing bonfire? Flames are too strong for the logs to hold. That's why the fire's like spilling out. It's supposed to mean that at a certain point of time, when people are really determined to do things, we can't be controlled. Our true potential gets unleashed then, knocking apart all the limitations we're under right now.
4. Simple Nature
Description: Just an idealistic picture of nature and the countryside. Haiz...being close to nature is really nice, huh? It's somewhere between evening and night, so the sky's that kind of blue. Has a bit of a dreamy effect, since it doesn't really exist in our citylife nowadays. That's so rare...the simplicity of nature has been complicated, and even destroyed, by the works of man. We've already torn down the original beautiful sensitivity of Mother Nature in our own strive after greed.
5. Freedom of a Dream
Description: Playing around with brushes. o.O And this thing came out. Well...apparently I don't find it that bad, especially since I like the colour blending, so I decided to keep it. It's conveying some certain meaning from the depths of my own thoughts too, so yea...depends on you to interpret if it's abstract or not. It's pretty much free. I kinda like the atmosphere it brings, reminds me of some dream I've used to have with my last batch of dream companions. Haiz...they're gone now.
How I miss them.
AHHHH GTG CYA NIGHT!!!***~~~*The Winds struck at 11.23pm*~~~
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
No time...so it's gonna be terribly short.
Scored only 5/10 for Japanese compo today. Apparently I chucked in too much stuff that I wasn't familiar with, so they weren't all accepted anyway. I'm not particularly sad about it, surprisingly, cuz I'm taking it as a learning experience even though it's counted in the overalls. Haiz...doing bad once in a while doesn't hurt that much, does it?
Even though it DOES in Math.
Tomorrow we're having the Omnimax movie on the whateva waters of the Grand Canyon or something...so excited. No training tomorrow, going home from Science Centre with Jia Hui and Katherine and perhaps Tiffy. Azzy may tag along too, if she wants though I'm not sure about her plans...
Just did my math. -.- The first few questions were relatively ok, I managed to do them afterall, but still...I got stuck at 4.
Anyway had a really visual and interesting Physics lesson today doing on Light. XD Lasers! I love the green one. Light is JUST SO INTERESTING!!! XD
Philo teacher's retiring. T.T *sob* He's real hilarious you know. Aww...
Okies...said it was short. Gotta go now. Cya guys, bye! Night!***~~~*The Winds struck at 10.49pm*~~~
Thanks to all the blogs the designer referred to (countless) for html code help :) (esp. cyn' and sixseven)
Adobe Photoshop Elements for supernatural abilities
