Wandering with the Wind...

Monday, August 4, 2008

Hey people...sorry for the looooooong break, cuz before this I was pretty busy with my history PT and after I've FINALLY managed to finish up with it...I was lazy. XD Just joking. More of tired and punched up with stuff to do.

Last week...I think it was Thursday, we had IMT test. ^^ Rifles!!! They were absolutely awesome. We had to lie down in proning position on this...raised ledge, and we all have rifles rested on sandbags before us. It was air-conditioned so basically...the room is pretty cooling. Then we had to shoot about 6 times of 4 rounds, at this teeny tiny little yellow U-shaped target against a black background.
My assisstant was great, so sorry for bothering him a lot with "IAs" cuz.......my rifle kept jamming.

Darn. Especially in the 3rd and 4th rounds everytime, and that prevented me from getting my marksmanship. ><

Ok anyway...after that we went back for training, did PT with some games...

*Something Happened*

Haven't washed my bottle till now, full of their fingerprints but yeah. XD It's good to know that it's been used for good stuff.

Anyway yesterday I updated my fanfic! Yay...Wasurete Kudasai doesn't sound that bad of a name now anyway. IT'S JAP! Woo hoo. I hope Tiffy likes it. XD Besides...there were 3 more reviews to my story. They want me to continue updating, FAST, but yeah...too bad school's not that good nowadays. XP

Ant told me that his NCC trainings lasted for 3 days each week with 3.5h per training.

Now I don't feel that bad after all.

And yippeees....we're not having anymore trainings till the start of next year, from what the Sergeants said!!! Yay! (No offense)...I still like NCC Air yeah but...o.O I do feel happy with the fact that I've cleared out 2 more free days for my week. So now I've just gotta stay back for 3 days...that leaves me with MORE TIME!!! Yay!!!

Yesterday argued with Denise VERY VERY VERY VERY FIERCELY over the convo box...were talking about "our respective meanings of life" and why "life is unfair". She was talking a lot about christianity, and it appears to me as though she had seriously...agreed to everything that this world is like now. That's not what I had expected of christianity, seriously. That was somewhat of a...disappointment. Somehow I had thought that having a religion would open your minds instead of restricting them to that tiny little box of our society; it would make you feel as though there is new confidence in life, that we should all take a change for the better and somebody's always out there aiding you. Yet it seems to tell of the opposite.

It's all a fight between spirituality and religion now. Indigos and religions. I'd never known beforehand that I'll even come to the day when...I'll have to disagree with a religion I had used to believe so faithfully in.

Besides...I came across a few websites which particularly repelled Indigos. It's still a possibility isn't it? Ascension...Indigos...evolution of frequencies...the 5th dimension...it's NOT totally rejected by science, is it? Things that we're currently unable to explain...it doesn't mean that we'd have to push it straight away just like that, without a chance for explanation, right?

It all roots back to acceptance.

The degree of willingness our minds have to embrace a certain new finding, to acknowledge the birth of a new possibility. Yet how the world is viewing spirituality right now...gives me the creeps. Not just the creeps...but rather more of...anxiety and desperation. Hopelessness. I can't go around only healing people I SEE. What about those all around the world? People dying everyday, crying everyday, social problematics...how can I ever reach out to them? It must have got something to do with the connection of Indigo grids, if not, why should it even be here in the first place? Why don't we just work quietly as individuals, alone, to strive to achieve the single goal of our own missions?

Why must there be such a thing as Indigo partnership?

Perhaps it is to lend us support. To let us know and learn that even if others all around do not understand, there're still people of our kind out there. Even if everyone's alone in this world, the lonely state of mind, there can be depletion of loneliness. That's the best we can do so far.

It was really hurting, the way Brendan had rejected everything straight in my face.
Of course, his arguments were well polished with evidence, yet...perhaps it's just his debator's nature. I thought he was shouting and all that fierceness...was absolutely unnerving. Before this I had thought he was the only guy I had known so far who could speak nicely to everyone he sees, lest for those he don't like...yet now I had been pretty much let down. Once again, like all of the times that I had been let down before.

The main thing is that...it's something I can't really blame him and I don't want to anyway. He doesn't know that 2012 ascension is one of my last fervent hopes...the only spiritual hope I have for this world now. Something I'm working so hard to achieve with others. It does hurt to get your only hopes dashed just like that but...I suppose that's just the way it is right now. Life doesn't have anymore freedom like it used to have.

Why is it just so hard to speak well nowadays? Why can't we convey our own ideas in harmony? We don't need to fight always, do we? We don't need to have wars!

I just don't understand. WE are not the ones trying to bring back harmony. WE are in fact the ones who're shutting harmony OUT!!!

Haiz...nvrm. Guess I should really get a counsellor at times.

Alright, did a few more pictures in photoshop. o.O Had a bit more time after History PT but yea...next week we're having physics SPA, we're having Chinese oral, we're having...Lit SA or something, I think. Darn...

1. Red Bridge of Trust

Description: Overtime, the art of traditional bridges have left an imprint of trust, the reliance of hearts upon hearts, the intricate coat of crimson paint that brushes across the crystalline waters of time. Yet is it always like that in life, is trust really just as easy as walking across an arch of lovely scarlet flames?

2. Bridge of Friendship

Description: Love is red, friendship is blue. Yet blue may not be the real colour for friends, for at times, friendship can just be as plain and simple as an olden brown bridge. It is the barren feelings lain out, the clear context of innocence and courage, and the only blue tinting the walk is the mere reflection of azure waters, and lines of sapphire ivies.

3. Not Giving Up

Description: In life we all walk our own paths, and there are certain intervals at which we fall into a pit, and climb out of it again. No matter how doggedly we'd look, we're always eager on reaching out for success, and too impatient to wait for success reaching out to us. Because it never will, and what will happen if one time we lost ourselves in an abandoned glade, full of broken branches and clawing twigs...what will we do then? We can only stand and wait, but never will we wither. For there is still water in the soils, sunlight in the skies, and fire in our hearts. We will never give up.

4. Crystalline Perception

Description: The way we see things vary, but they all lead to a common destiny. The clarity of visions will always be targetted in all our imageries, no matter how flowery or untruthful they may seem. For in every lie, there will always be a tunnel of clarity where wisdom looks through, and derives every single hidden meaning behind the tendency of an altered existence...a lie.

5. Dream Radiation

Description: In every dream our barriers are removed, and our true insights are projected to the vast planes of parallel existence in the form of radiations. These mysterious energies, raised frequencies...the beauty of all that the mind has to conceal. It is a new type of beauty, one of mystery, of consciousness, of wisdom, of light and warmth. One which will awaken all hearts and guide our spirits...to the personal landscapes of one's unique build, of a quality never seen before, hidden and never meant to be uncovered.

6. The Last of Sunsets

Description: A different world, a steep mountain, a dying sun...trees of all colours wave and brandish the last of their glories in the withering warmth of sunset. Even in death our colours remain, to shine and last forever in our existence, to add a brush of paint to the big picture of our worlds. Perhaps in every dying breath, there is both the horror and the beauty, merged together to form a mistaken ultimate fear which imprisons our hearts. When will we see the true barren feelings which Death has to hide, to save her face, to cry beyond our sights?

I cried yesterday night in bed.

It felt so lonely, so sad, so bereft of warmth...so misunderstood in general. I've been having suicidal thoughts a lot recently, they're just coming more and more and more...

Yet the very thought of continuing to survive like that, without a general meaning and reason as to why we have to go according to such rules...sickens me altogether. I'd been hugging some soft stuff like my pillow...well, just to get some bit of warmth in this cold frosty world. Bought a small tuna cake from Mr Bean shop today...it was so warm and nice and cosy...being hugging it before I ate it. I wonder if I'm really reverting back to the ways a child uses for comfort. But seriously...it works. At least it makes me feel as though I'm still having a certain connection with this world.

That I'm not so far-off.

Alright...enough of talking. I suppose I'd want to lose myself in Detective Conan fanfictions again, since I'm starting to emo one more. -.- DC's a good cheer, I seem to feel that stupid connection with the characters somehow. I know it's not true and they're not alive, but the very idea of reading about them...comforts me.

Okay gtg. Cya guys. Bye...

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~~~*The Winds struck at 5.04pm*~~~

Aurinya blogged at 3:57 PM

Roaming the Winds