Wandering with the Wind...

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

I think I'm back to emoing again for now; wanted to blog just so that I could escape into my own world for awhile. Things have been so bustling lately. They're getting on my mind - pushing other things out, pushing me off that path I would like to walk and have been walking. For one thing I'm totally not writing these few days. I'm doing a little bit of scrapy drawing practice, and then it's back to homework. I haven't really been in contact with music recently too; whenever I sit in-front of the piano and try to blend a few chords together into some random composition, like I always used to love doing, things don't come to me anymore.

Because I realized I've started to think more now. Think, instead of feeling as I always did (and solely) in my earlier years. That's why everything comes to my mind now, instead of where they should have gone. And the main thing is...I can never create purely with my mind.

I can never create with my mind, if they don't come to my heart.

Really, I dunno what I should do. Most probably just let things go by their natural way, and watch in my wait. Nowadays whenever an obstacle is about to come, especially a pretty significant one, I would sense it earlier than the time it really came. Mostly about 1 or 2 days earlier, or just...some time. I dunno. Sometimes I try envisioning these obstacles. I'd find myself looking down at this long empty path with trees at the side and huge grey blocks in the middle - I take those as stumblers, and I'll watch out for them with a strong feeling that they'll always work out in the end.

And they always do.

For now, I guess, I'll take this as a good thing.

Well I think I don't have too much time for ranting today since my mom...=.=

So I'll just carry on with the registration of life in school today.

Let's see...I'm gonna make this fast. Really gtg. We watched Les Choristes today for CLE, it was a WONDERFUL movie, save or the fact that it's all in French, and I almost cried in the end. It's about this supervisor and a bunch of students (his choir in the end) and music. It's very very nice. Go watch it.

Heard me? Go watch it.

And I returned the NCC Uniforms through Viv today. She was real helpful - thanks a lot man! My mom made some things come off the uni, but I think they won't fuss too much about it. It's...er, repairable. O.O Is there such a word?

Argh my English.

Okay I'm feeling a lil dizzy now. And a little cold. I think...that's what we feel when we emo? O.O

Naw, maybe just for me.

I had a very long and weird dream yesterday. I dreamt of it (will not disclose name AND gender cuz it's very confidential) and there was this huge room with weird living beings and mechanisms inside. I remember this huge door and it was evening and It was unlocking the door. O.O Okay so we went inside and...yea...and there were classmates. Dunno why. Not 207 classmates or anyone I know - I guess my new bunch of dream companions? People who just sojourn and go?

I miss my old dream companions...T_T My mom says maybe they had to go cuz I've just finished one phase of my life...*sob* separation is so cruel. Haiz. Now I feel like there's a gaping hole in my dream world that I can never ignore.

It's like being thrown in into a vast world so huge and endless and yet your guides have all left you; everyone is unfamiliar, you know nobody, it's a constant meeting up with new people and weird places and weird atmospheres. Dreams used to be so naive and fun with them around.

Now that they're gone, I'm groping in all the unknowns lurking around me. I admit my dreams are still nice and with the quality they had the past few years, but...there really is a huge difference now. Things are no longer that simple.

Sometimes I dunno if I'm happy to meet new friends in my dreams instead of the same bunch of people. I really miss them all, but I'm also happy to interact with new people. I really dunno...

Oh well.

My mom woke me in the middle of that vast long dream (2 days on end okay...) so I had terrible headaches.

And we had Math Graded Assignment today. 15 min. 6 questions. And it was shifted 1 day forward.

IT WAS GOOD! I managed to do the bonus question and I had not much problem with the time management. Hope I don't fail. I really really hope I don't fail. So much responsibility on me to do at least as expected.

Darn. Gtg. So many things to say...

JH'S GONNA PLAY TOMO! Or at least she says probably she will. O.O

Um ok I really gtg. Cya. Night~

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~~~*Played with the winds at 9.54pm*~~~

Aurinya blogged at 9:25 PM

Roaming the Winds