Wandering with the Wind...

Monday, May 10, 2010

Horrors of NAPFA 2.4 ended when we were all saved by the beautiful, impeccably timed lightning alert...save for those already on their 4th round on the track that is. Poor things...but, well, Utilitarianism, most of us get the good stuff so...tough luck.

Yeah right. Philo is cruel. =__= Having an exam on it 2 days from now doesn't make it any better.

Anyway I'm kind of in a dilemma..as I have been for so many times this year. She seems distressed. Well somewhat at least, from what I read on her blog and her convos with me. Personally I'm confused as to why she is conversing with me on MSN these few days as if nothing happened when she pushed me away not more than 1 week ago - and also wondering why I actually replied and responded beyond one-word replies. Maybe it's a thing for being sentimental.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Well as I was saying about her aforementioned "distress", it seems that she's wallowing in some kind of regret over past actions or just, perhaps, some frantic wishing that someone didn't do something or that something didn't happen the way it did. I have no clue what it is about but I believe I shouldn't nose in where things might prick. But somehow, just somehow, I thought I should at least try to cheer her up.

Really, what's wrong with me? I'm still angry and hurt over that incident you know - well not as much now, but the emotion is definitely there. If I could I would've just ignored her during her very first MSN convo with me after that day, or gave her some form of sarcastic reply and made it our last parting for good. But oh well, guess I really have too little resolve for my own good.

I still want to help her in one way or another. I believe she as how she appeared would not want a lot of sympathy / pity / empathy / whatever sentimental emotions, especially from someone whom she deliberately pushed away, but other friends tell me she doesn't get along well with a lot of people. It is quite observable too in a sense. I would like to help - but not knowing what she truly needs and helping in the wrong way would end up taking us nowhere if not aggravating the situation.

Suppose I'd just leave this issue here for now, and watch how things take their course.

On a sidenote, Ming Wei asked if I could accompany him tomorrow when he goes to change some music instrument since he "felt bored and needed company". Sounds like one of those emo spouts that Endro and I would experience at times; those sudden moments whereby you just wish you could contact someone and rant or whatever lol. Yeah it happens. Too bad the workload enchains me to weeks of toil - which will not see an end till the June hols are in sight.

Week 10 then, after my projects and exams are down. I really have no time at all for these couple of weeks.

Oh yeah, reminds me I'll have to change my guitar strings immediately after concert. I'm kinda worried they'd snap during concert you know, since they look pretty rusted and worn and I haven't changed them for nearly 1.5 years (the 6th string looks dangerous), but if I change them now it would suck too cuz the guitar would keep going off-tune. Well, let's just hope they won't snap.

I miss piano. >.<

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~~~*Played with the Winds at 10.05pm*~~~

Aurinya blogged at 9:26 PM

Roaming the Winds