Wandering with the Wind...

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

For the first time, I received direct acknowledgement from my school art teacher.

It felt so nice. The commendation itself was so simple; plain, quick, soft, fleeting...just an effortless "I'm putting this up, it is very well done" as she walks away to store away the pieces - but wow! It made me feel so much better, like something's been lifted off me in a whoosh. Seems like I've been so repressed by my own faltering self-confidence (or lack thereof) that something like this could cheer me up so much.

Serious, this really made my day. I felt like a primary school kid...face flushed with happiness and childish pride (well, on the inside =__=) as an adult expresses his appreciation of something you did, be it a pat on the head, or quick words, or just a smile of recognition. It's really wondrous how a praise can have this much effect. I dunno, I guess it's cuz I've been waiting so long by myself to be recognised that this came as a considerable surprise. It almost feels like the trapdoor above being opened and a beam of light drifting into the darkness. The hope...the revivement...the re-ignition...

It gave me a confidence boost, one that I had really been in need of lately. Thank you so much. The timing was impeccable - thankfully. :)

Though on a darker note things happened in SAP today that weren't of joyous nature. Well, not exactly "things". But I do suppose HP coming into class, dumping her bag and slumping on the table snifling and sobbing IS definitely something out of the ordinary. I mean, she has always given me the impression that she's a strong girl, the kind of tough basketballer who is lively, sarcastic, cracks cynical jokes and just downright entertaining albeit in a sardonic and dark-humour-ish way. To see her crying is really...quite scary.

She wouldnt' tell any of us what happened. I really felt a twinge within when I saw her, but I really didn't know how to help! I tried talking to her, but she just shook her head and on second thoughts I figured it was better to let her have her space and quiet for awhile. It's frustrating, this kind of thing. I couldn't focus on my art for a long time cuz it just felt WRONG to be doing your own stuff nonchalantly when someone is f*ing depressed a little ways near you. That and the fact that you know you can't do anything about it.

And the way most of the other SAP ppl acted...it really unnerved me. They just totally ignored her and left her sniffling on the table! Someone even said "Who cares?" I mean, wtf is this?? Shouldn't you at least show some bit of concern? Is that really the way you treat your friends - laugh at their ingenius jokes when days are sunny and then turn the cold shoulder when she's down? I dunno if there are any underlying meanings and factors behind this, but this act of utter nonchalance just seriously frightened me.

Oh well...at least E offered a pack of tissue and talked a bit, and C folded a little gift thing for HP. That's good enough for now I suppose.

Sigh...the complications of man and this world...it's bound to come down to this. Perfect beings losing their perfection via knowledge - the acquaintance with earthly affairs, and the subsequent loss of innocence that degrades us to what we are today. It's either be empty or be emptied. Of what, that would for now remain a metaphysical question.

Speaking of which, MW has a new blog. Apparently he's putting up all his rants there...the first few lines were f*ing emo for crying out loud lol. Well at least now I know my blog isn't the only emo dump in the vicinity. Just that his is more cynical, more acerbic, and mine is more...alkaline? =__=

So much for a screwed up chem SPA (that is now screwing up my mind).

And now the politically correct things.

Happy Racial Harmony Day! Regardless of race, language, religion, blahblahblah.....:D But you get the point. All races unite woohoo! XD

Oh boy, do I love diversity hm.

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~~~*Played with the winds at 10.36pm*~~~

Aurinya blogged at 10:07 PM

Roaming the Winds