Wandering with the Wind...

Sunday, January 30, 2011

My. Parents. Fucking. Need. Anger. Control.

I'm really pissed that I have to break the promise I made to myself a few days ago on my blog to post only 2 negative posts every month. Well technically the promise isn't broken yet - but close, if you count this post, it will be 1 out of 2 and I have only 1 more post saved for the rest of this month! D<>

Nothing new really. We got into a big dispute again, pissed both sides off, everyone acted super unreasonably, another crack in the relationships. Oh wow. Brilliant isn't it?

Welcome to my family. Where we're doing pretty well in terms of everything in the material aspects and that leaves us no chance to justify the twisted relationship sometimes. Because you know how the world works; you have money? Okay, you have a nice family. Bullshit, justified bullshit by the bullshit logic that this world goes by.

(Too much George Carlin)

Sometimes I just really wish my parents could learn to rein in their temper at appropriate times and know when to shut up. I didn't even DO anything outrageous, okay? The most I did was being reluctant in reading the Chinese book my mom made me read (cuz I have to go rush a goddamn school essay!!!) and then my mom got damn pissed and just started screaming and I ended up having to read MANY more essays than I originally had to. Stupidity on both of our parts. Gianormous waste of time.

And then wow, she started talking about how I am proud and haughty and unfilial and morally twisted and didn't have a heart and that I had nothing in potential and yet loved to brag about it. Wtf? Do I BRAG about my stuff at ALL? Anyone who knows me just a little bit will know I have confidence issues, or more specifically, INnconfidence. That's like the fundamental thing to know about my personality. And she started talking about this newspaper article featuring some random boy who had to help out his parents in the hawker centre and still got a scholarship to study overseas in Australia or something.

Okay...whatever. So what is it you want to say? Huh?

I'm already used to them telling me that I am pretty much a sucker as compared to all the other heavenly kids and that part was okay. I am just PISSED that they have to keep saying that I don't have a heart, that I'm not kind, that I am morally - what? - twisted and not going the right way. Hello, just because I don't like them doesn't mean I'm a goddamn heartless person! Can't they actually make sensible judgments that won't piss the hell out of everyone??? If they want to misjudge me simply because of their lack of understanding of who I truly am, fine with them, but IM not fine with that.

Next time, choose something else to insult me for. Something more logical and sensible, since I can't really expect you to do sensitive criticism.

Ah yes then my dad. He has the WORST words to say and actions to do at the WORST timing. Period. I'm not gonna elaborate, just that he started yelling at me about something entirely different right after my mom yelled at me. I almost lost control of myself again like I did twice in sec one. I really would have lashed out had I not kept myself in check at the last minute - I'm glad I did control myself, it would have sucked if I had another screaming contest like a madwoman or something. That would really suck.

And great, now this whole thing has totally ruined my mood for my school essay. Plus I might have to cancel the jogging plan with Nans tomorrow because my parents will most likely wake up in a pissy mood and I won't be let out of the house.

Good grief.

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~~~*Played with the Winds at 10.59am*~~~

Aurinya blogged at 10:57 AM

Roaming the Winds