Wandering with the Wind...

Saturday, April 2, 2011

I just found a friend's blog yesterday and read most of her posts, and they set me thinking so much, so much that I'm no longer sure if I know where to go anymore.

It seems that the world is no longer as composed as I used to think; like a fog clearing, dispersing the beautifully vague silhouettes that hide the ghastly truth underneath a blanket of mythical beauty. What is left underneath is a gigantic system of rusting cogs and creaking hinges. The mechanism of society is deteriorating. The world is about to fall apart. Or maybe it has already fallen apart, and we are just living in a reality composed of our own delusions - our delusion that we are alive, that we are living in a solid reality, that there is meaning to what we see through our blindfolds.

Nothing. Nothing at all.

Just like my friend, I have been frequently pondering about who I used to be as a child. She is right about childhood being the most tragic and precious thing. Childhood is the nursery of life, the only few years we can truly see the world through our wide, innocent eyes, untainted by sin and the guilt of knowing. In this context knowledge is guilty. It really is, because while teaching us things that should bring civilization to a higher level, it is also tearing civilization down, day by day, hour by hour, second by second.

From Knowledge was born Lies. From Knowledge was born Ignorance. From Knowledge was born Greed, because we are all suddenly aware of what each of us wants, that what we want tends to collide, and that there cannot be two winners. From Knowledge is born Misery. We all dream of greener grass on the other side.

And perhaps the worst of all, from Knowledge is born Man, the greatest enemy of Nature, yet also the one who knows the most of it.

Sometimes I wonder if Man really knows what he is doing. We actively strive towards the future, faster, taller, higher - like one gigantic hornet swarm rolling up towards the blue sky, with no signs of hesitation, no notion of reprieve, just horribly bent on achieving what we set out to achieve. Yet most of the time we do not know what it is that we want. We progress eagerly but blindly. Aiming but with no direction. It is a system of the blind leading the blind, each with his own reasons, each guided by his own intuition, each aware of a common goal we have yet to discover.

But we are also aware to some degree at least that what we are seeing could be one gigantic, incorporeal illusion. We know that none of us knows the way. And thus from our blindfolds is born distrust, a wild animalistic distrust that roils within because we know of a light beyond this darkness which we cannot see.

It is time for Man to stop in his tracks for a short while and recount the way he has come. He needs to learn of the things he has recklessly thrown away and lost, and remind himself of the remaining things he possesses that should be guarded more carefully. He must wake up. Wake up from this limbo state of sleepwalking, wake up to a real world where personal awareness is no longer the largest part of life. He must know that life is never fulfilled, that existence is never meaningful without finding that something we have set out to achieve a long time ago.

If you believe in destiny, think of everything in life as little cogs that propel a larger system - good or bad, positive or negative, it doesn't matter. Destiny will guide you to where you are destined to go, it will be your compass, your map, and also your ship. If you believe in God, believe that he has planned things out for your own good, that he wants you to have these experiences because they make up who you are, who you're meant to be. If you are spiritual, live life knowing that you are in one with the Creator, that you are a creator within yourself.

Nobody can control our lives. We create life. We create ourselves.

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~~~*Played with the Winds at 11.05am*~~~

Aurinya blogged at 10:32 AM

Roaming the Winds