Wandering with the Wind...

Monday, September 5, 2011

Where to start? I've been in a pretty good mood lately, very likely due to a new element of faith I've added to my established set of belief system, and sudden curious readings in philosophy as well as spiritual messages which resonate more keenly with my personal values. I've realised the need to be grounded and spiritual at the same time. What I lacked most for the past few weeks, and which caused major turmoils in my practical life and spiritual well-being, was a balance between the two; I was so anchored to earthly affairs that I turned down chances to cleanse myself of negative frequencies and keep myself spiritually attuned. And even though I was indeed aware of a small nagging at the back of my head, where idealism sits crowning the whole purpose of my life, I was too tired to pay much attention.

So yes, I still have my down times but life is reasonably much better in terms of perception. I have learnt to tune out some things and look to higher planes for comfort. This was an amazingly efficient way of keeping my emotions in check, because it reminds me that if I have not the tolerance for idealistic carrion, I could always choose not to deal with them at all.

Speaking of idealism, I have been reading an E-book titled "The Problems of Philosophy" and this has been my time-killer for the past few days. There were several pertinent dwellings with regards to the nature of existence and knowledge, typically debating the essence of matter, and knowledge acquired through acquaintance or knowledge through description. It was thought-provoking, and thought-provocation is good, as it woke me up from being a lifeless, apathetic drudge to an active individual who would seek to perceive realms beyond what has been revealed. Basically, it wakes me up to being who I used to be before the weight of life came crashing down. I want to live again, to truly live life as it is and not what it could have been.

I find myself thinking so much lately. It's a non-stop cognitive shroud over my head, in the bus, in the car, in-between lessons, in the darkness beneath my blanket...I just can't stop thinking. Something feels like it is coming to an end, something big and probably one of the major pillars of my current reality all this while. Sometimes I feel mildly disoriented, as if I'm ceasing to exist in this plane and stirring to wakefulness in some other. Sometimes I feel cross-eyed and can't quite walk steadily. And yet at other times I'm tired and feel as if time is warping or passing too fast. Strange feelings intrigue me in the scarce minutes before I fall asleep, fuzzy noises of randomness such as pots banging and static jumps, muddled voices speaking in different pitches and tones and a stranger language but which I understand, not due to the comprehension of the language itself, but due to the energies those utterances carry. The alpha state before sleep seems to have opened up a kind of doorway somehow.And whilst I most certainly did experience alpha states before, now these feelings and strange mild experiences have become more pertinent and longer-lasting.

It's interesting. I'm not afraid, not really, perhaps a little apprehensive but not fearful. Change is coming. I can feel the shifts, but not quite sure what for or where everything is headed. But change is definitely coming. And it's not the change Obama promised, nor the change Ghandi has so wisely explained in his famous quote, but something that we will ride upon as an undercurrent which will carry us into the new world.

Ascension.

So many things have yet to be explained. I'm but a passive idealist, currently attuning myself more to my spiritual connections so that I may get some guidance on how to proceed. Things are going to get interesting from here.

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~~~*Waited for the Winds at 10.52pm*~~~

Aurinya blogged at 10:52 PM

Roaming the Winds