Wandering with the Wind...

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Sometimes it takes just a little reflection to scour the gritty surface of life and gaze into the barren visage that lies underneath, and we would come to the realisation, even if just for a short moment, that the weaknesses and needs we believe so strongly to be our own plague many others equally in unseen hours. The hidden tears, the concealed troubles, the carefully contained emotions sealed in a vessel packed too tightly with other vessels to make a sound; all these mixed signals swirling in a soup of madness that drifts from person to person, cushioning cold shoulders, obscuring hostile glares, lubricating the trillions and trillions of little cogs in a gargantuan social machine that will never stop working itself to the end of infinity. That is not to say, of course, that no good comes from this insulation. It saves. It saves us by alleviating the most corrosive effects of strife, but not without exacting a payment of sorts.

And we've paid for it, generations after generations, by being lonely.

Everyone needs something deep down inside, and our knowledge of this need is innate. A gaping abyss mars the landscape within each and every one of us, forming schisms within ourselves, sowing into the darkness seeds of contention that would slowly feed upon our confusion and grow into full-fledged internal wars...and all this we would have to deal with on our own in a battle with the self where we can only hope to emerge victorious. Everybody needs, everybody is weak, everybody can never be strong enough. There is no way to measure the degree to which a person needs something, or justify the importance of his hopes and dreams in relation to another's, and at the end of the day we're all just humans. Jealous, contriving, miserable humans, creatures who have sufficient intelligence to populate the upper end of the spectrum, but too much unbounded imagination to be sated by the definite or appeased by the incorporeal. Who doesn't need? Who doesn't desire?

Who doesn't hope?

Who doesn't hate?

Life is both a feast of the greatest proportions and the deadliest poison at the same time, and amidst unexpected joys and curtailed revelries, luck toys with our bewilderment as if we have an infinite capacity for ignorance and misunderstanding. My duty as a fellow human being is to empathise to the best of my ability and deliver as much help as possible, but there is nothing I can do beyond that. Just like you, I need, I want, I hope, and just like you, I've concealed, acted, suffered and had my fair share of despair. I will not hate you for what you've done, but I will not hate myself either for not being nearly as noble and selfless as everyone expects, to some tiny, selfish degree, everyone else to be. It's the way the world goes, round and round and round, and we're just little beings trapped in the momentum, equally helpless in our attempts to free ourselves from the unfathomable, maddening vertigo.

I've realised, and maybe you should too, that there is nothing to blame. There's nothing to forgive, either.

It's just the way it is.

***

~~~*Left with the Winds at 10.05pm*~~~

Aurinya blogged at 10:05 PM

Roaming the Winds