I hate the way I cling so desperately to something I've found and want to treasure. In what way do I depend on it? What reasons have I to feel that it belongs to me and solely to me? When others lay hands on it, my heart aches and my teeth clench and there's this horrible squirming sensation in my chest that I cannot help but succumb to. I think I'm not good enough. I know I'm not good enough. But all this while, even so, I liked to think I had a chance.
Maybe it was all a dream, and I've been deluding myself every second of the past instance. Maybe I'm just desperate and didn't notice the hunger of my unappeased desires. I've been searching so long and hard for this something...and I want it, I want it so badly that to see it taken away even though it was not mine to claim in the first place...just hurts. It hurts so very much no matter how hard I try to persuade myself otherwise. I've grown, but the thing I look for remains unchanged.
I try, you know, I try. There are just some things I can't do. I can't show affection to people as freely as I should be able to. I can't speak words of warm sincerity to people I'd love to articulate them to. I want to act freely, trust freely...I want to love freely, just the way I wish, and be cared for as well.
I want a chance, and no more shall I ask.
***
~~~*Waited for the Winds at 8.17pm*~~~
Aurinya blogged at 8:17 PM
Roaming the Winds
World of the Wind
Current Music: 町, 时の流れ, 人 - Clannad
Name: Aurinya
Age: 16
School: RI (JC)
Class: 13AO3B l
H2Art
House: Hadley Hullet
CCA: Art Club
Favourite Artists: Fred Sandback l Lucian Freud l Francis Bacon l Van Gogh l Salvador Dali
Favourite Musicians: Joe Hisaishi
Favourite Singers / Bands: Linkin Park l Shinedown l Foo Fighters
Favourite Language(s): English & Japanese
Loves:
Visual Art, music, poetry, dreaming, spirituality, philosophy
Dislikes:
Authoritarianism, stupidity, tedium, meaningless things, busy schedules
A fan of:
Team Fortress 2, Portal 2, George Carlin, Improvaganza
Music of the Time:
1. Take a Walk - Passion Pit
2. I don't Mind - He is We
3. Boats and Birds - Gregory and the Hawk
4. Of Monsters and Men - Little Talks
5. Vanilla Twilight - Owl City
6. Call Me - Shinedown
7. Falling Slowly - Once
8. The Hill - Once
9. It was Love - Dima Bilan
10. Bronte - Gotye
Further Improvement in Art
CG & Draw as well as TF2 Artists
To love
To be loved
Get recognised
Be a happier person
Get closer to nature
Find meaning in life
Survive the School Year
Aurinya (Deviantart)
Az (Deviantart)
Tessa
Lou Shan
Kim Ho
Min Yi
Joan
Kana
Jolyn
Rebekah Lee
Port City
Art Initiatives 2011
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Blogskins
Fonts (Dobkin)
Main Pic
Imageshack
Thanks to all the blogs the designer referred to
(countless) for html code help :) (esp. cyn' and sixseven)
Adobe Photoshop Elements for supernatural abilities
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